What The Eyes Don't See

31 | Revenge and Justice

"Please, please, tell me... what do you want me to say?" Anay wept.

Slowly, the spirit opened his mouth again, "The truth."

"What truth?"

"That which you are hiding. That which you have hidden for so long."

Anay buried his face in his hands. Yes, the spirit knew. He could keep things in his heart no more.

"Well, then, if you want me to spell it out," Anay began, "I recognized you when Shanaya pointed you out to me. I knew it was you, Deep."

Deep sighed. From behind him, a gasp was heard from Shanaya.

"Those nerd glasses of yours, that mop of hair, I have never forgotten it," said Anay. "But how could I bring myself to say it? Right from the days at school, the way I was, in my orthodox family, I could not say things of that sort. And I hated myself for it. I could not stop thinking of you in school. But, how did I cope? I became more aggressive. I pretended to be more macho. I flirted with the girls when I really did not feel like it. Then I hated myself all the more. And you were the target of my hatred, Deep. The same guy who had stirred those passions in me that I could not talk about, that was taboo for me to even think about. I didn't bully you because I was stronger than you; it was because I was much weaker than you. I hit you because you made me so weak in the knees."

"What are you saying, Anay?" Shanaya said.

Anay immediately turned. "But that was real, Shan. What we had...have...was real. I meant every bit of the kiss we had in that school. I meant every word I ever spoke to you. Nothing can take away from the fact that I love you."

"But what...I don't understand."

"If I have learnt anything from this bizarre episode, Shanaya, it is that love is the most complex thing there is," said Anay. "The human mind is not as linear as we think. One person's set of wants, desires, and preferences is as unique from another person's as their fingerprints or their DNA. And it took our society a long time to realize and accept this. But what of acceptance? Are the many colors of love accepted universally even today? Isn't it sad that we accept hate so easily but not love? We love hate but don't love love. And that's what makes us miserable as an entire race."

The spirit beamed as if struck by a ray of happiness. "I am happy you realize that now, Anay Ghosh, but you are still beating around the bush. How much longer will it take for you to accept?"

Anay stretched his neck and turned his head skyward, as if praying for the final ounce of courage. Then, slowly but in very clear words, he said, "I was secretly in love with you, Deep."

The spirit immediately lowered his upraised arms and they fell by his sides. On that shapeless mouth was now something like a smile. But no words were spoken.

"On that day when I called you for the rehearsal alone, I hoped to gather the courage to tell you privately about it," confessed Anay. "I did not have the courage to say it out in public, but I could not live with the fact that school was ending and we were never to meet again. But I was accosted by the other boys, the ones who I thought I had to live up to, and I was carried away. I lost my courage, and I ended up hurting you rather than telling you the truth."

"Even though it's too late, it means the world to me that you say it now," said Deep.

"I bullied you even on that day, according to that diabolical plan laid out by my friends. But what happened after that, I had no idea of it. I did not know that my father—"

"Say no further. I know."

"So there. I have accepted it," said Anay. "I had feelings for a boy when I was in school, and it was you, Deep. And I knew that you had a major crush on me too, but I abused your feelings for me, and that makes me a deplorable man fit for every consequence that I had to face."

Anay felt a shoulder on him. It was Shanaya's. "I don't understand everything about this, Anay, but I do understand love and the pangs it brings with it. I also understand why you could not say it out loud then, and even now. And I believe that you have feelings for me as well. For, whenever we were together, I have only seen genuine feelings for me in your eyes. Yes, what you say is right. Love is complicated. We will never scratch even the surface of understanding it."

"Thanks," Anay merely said, his head bowed.

Then they turned to look again at Deep. Something was happening there. The glow that had started in his ethereal form had grown in intensity. They hadn't realized it, but it had reached a blinding level, so much so that they had to close their eyes.

"What's happening?" Anay asked, his hand shielding his eyes.

"Thank you, Anay Ghosh," said the spirit of Deep, his voice reverberating in the hall as if he was speaking on a loudspeaker. "Thank you for finally accepting your feelings for me. Thank you for confirming what I had suspected for long. This might appear very bleak now, but one day you will realize the value of this day, for it's the day of your liberation, the day when you accepted your reality. And you will live a better life with that acceptance. Your onward journey is not going to be easy, for from now on, everything changes for you. But you will see that the change is for the better."

And then the spirit bowed low and came level with Anay. It was another impulse, perhaps, or maybe the expression of a long-suppressed desire, but Anay tilted his head and surrendered. He closed his eyes and gently parted his lips, and, in that moment, he felt the cold but pleasant touch of another pair of lips on him. He did not want to look at what was happening; this moment was best lived in his fancies.

When he opened his eyes, the spirit had turned to look at Shanaya. "He is all yours now," he said in the same booming voice. "He is fragile right now. Quite shaken. But I am sure you will show him the right path."

Then the spirit turned to look at Kautuk, who had been standing silently in the corner all along, stunned into inaction. To him, he said, "I owe an apology to you too. I took away a part of your life, and I made you do things which did not come from your consciousness. But you, most of all, will understand I did it to be closer to my Anay Ghosh for at least a brief while. And yet, no apology will be sufficient to justify the advantage I took of you."

The light now filled the entire auditorium. It was hard to believe that it was the middle of the night. As the three of them huddled close to each other, they saw the spirit of Deep begin to rise. It floated upward, bathed by that iridescence, to the very ceiling of the high stage. And from there, the voice boomed down upon them, "And now, it is time for me to go. I have finally found my deliverance. I leave, bestowing my best wishes to all of you that you may lead a life that's filled with the joy of knowing and accepting love."

With a blinding flash, the spirit of Deep Mishra vanished into nothingness.

***

What do you think of the eventual fate of Deep Mishra?

Do you relate to Anay Ghosh and the secrets he had been hiding in his heart? Do let me know.

Things aren't yet quite over, but we are almost there...

Find out how it ends for Anay, Shanaya, and Kautuk in the epilogue...