Coucou (Two Hearts in One Home) - a Heleanor Fanfiction

chapter 9

My phone rang, and I stared at it for a moment before reluctantly picking it up and answering the call.

I cleared my throat. "Hello?"

"Eleanor!" Kiera cried.

Oh dear. "Oh, um, hey."

"You haven't been home for three days I've been so worried!"

Wow, she's so nice! But too nosey. Maybe I should cut her off? "You're too nosey, maybe I should cut you off."

Kiera laughed. "You won't do that! I was only joking Eleanor. If I'm being totally honest, I don't give a fat steamy lump of shit about where you are. I was actually just calling to ask you where you keep the disinfectant."

"The disinfectant is in the cupboard under the sink. Why? Did you make a mess?"

"No." A few moments of silence went by, before Kiera spoke again. "How do you get blood out of the carpet?"

I frowned. "Huh?"

"I, uh, cut my foot and now there's blood on the carpet." Kiera cleared her throat.

"Um, well I don't know. Carpet cleaner?"

"Yeah okay thanks," said Kiera before abruptly hanging up. I put my phone back down on the table in front of me and stared at it for a minute or two. I was just spending some time thinking about how weird Kiera is. Isn't she weird?

Then I SNAPPED BACK TO REALITY. Oh, there goes gravity!

I had things to do today, I can't get distracted.

I had brought Harry and Louis to a secret location. I locked them in different rooms and I hadn't spoken to them much so far, just to bring them their bread and water. But today was different. Today, I was going to find out the truth.

I put on my disposable gloves in case of any mess, and went to unlock Harry's room. I swung open the door, and he looked up at me sadly.

"Is it bread time?"

I cackled. "No, it's question time. You're coming with me, dimple boy."

I untied him from the stripper pole that was in the middle of the room, and dragged him out the room by the rope tied round his waist. I took him to the toilet and tied him to the sink.

"Stay," I said, and went to fetch Louis.

As soon as I unlocked his door, Louis screamed.

"It's okay, little one," I said, "it's only me."

Luckily for me, he was small enough to just carry so I flung him over my shoulder and went to the toilet I had put Harry in. I hadn't really thought this through, I didn't really know where to put Louis............so I just made him lie on the floor and I tied his rope to my wrist so he could never get away from me. he he he

I sat down on the toilet seat, and made myself comfortable. I looked at the two boys, and beamed.

"So," I said happily, "I bet you're wondering what you're doing here!"

"Can I have some bread?" asked Louis, his bottom lip trembling. "I am so hungry."

"Shhhh," I said, putting my bare foot over his mouth to silence him. "Later."

"Are you finally gonna tell us what's going on?" asked Harry quietly.

I shrugged. "Rude not to."

"We did nothing wrong!" Louis cried, but my foot was still over his mouth so it was a bit muffled and honestly my foot was kinda wet now which was grim.

I laughed. "Oh, Louis. You and I both know that's not true." I gestured over to Harry. "Harry here doesn't even know the half of it."

Louis grabbed at my foot in desperation, and I stared down at him with disgust. "Please don't," he whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because he - he can't know."

"Can't know what?" Harry interrupted, and he was ignored.

:(

"WHY NOT?" I shrieked, and leapt on top of Louis like a cat. We were nose to nose, and I stared into his blue orbs with my hazel ones. We were connected in a way we had never been before. I was so turned on!

"He just - he just can't," said Louis, trembling. I growled, unconvinced and full of indescribable rage.

"Fine. You wanna play it that way, do you?" I rolled my eyes. "There's a reason why I'm a Belieber and not a Directioner," I mumbled under my breath.

"Well, I-"

"I GOT MATCHING COCK PYJAMAS WITH YOU, LOUIS!" I roared and kicked over the loo brush in my anger. "I thought we had something. And YOU!" I whirled round and pointed my hairy, crooked finger at Harry. "You asked me to be your girlfriend!"

Harry quickly glanced over at Louis, fear in his eyes. "Louis, I-"

"I know," said the small one, "I saw you."

"You saw us?"

"Yeah." Louis swallowed. "I saw you ask her out on your porch. I was hiding in the tree."

Harry stared down at his feet, ashamed. I stomped my foot.

"What's all this shouting?" said an Irish voice, and I frowned.

"Louis, was that you? I didn't give you permission to talk."

"It wasn't me," said Louis. "It sounded a bit like -"

Something tickled my ear, and suddenly Niall was on the floor beside me.

"Niall?" I whispered, "You were in my ear, all this time?"

His blue orbs stared into my soul, and I felt my toes trembling at the sexual tension.

"Yes," he said, and ran off. Where to, I could not tell you - I never came across him again in my secret lair, and there weren't any doors or windows so I'm not sure how he even got out.

Anyway, back to the important matter at hand.

"Harry, I am confused as to why you would ask me out if you were just gonna snog Louis in my bathroom," I said, licking my lips. "Any comments?"

"I like you both."

Louis wailed.

I bit Louis's ear as punishment, which made him squawk like a little piggy. "Hey, mister, we had MATCHING COCK PYJAMAS!" I bellowed. "We went on a date, too!"

"I did like you, Elk," sighed Louis. "But then Harry smiled and flashed his dimples at me, and the rest is history."

"God, I feel sick," I said. I got up and kicked Harry in the shin.

"I didn't want any of this," I sighed, "I'm just a unique, quirky girl who fell for a boy. All I ever wanted was to be a dog walker."

"I can probably arrange that, if you want," Louis shrugged.

"Really?" I beamed.

"Yeah! If you let us go, obviously," said Louis.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't think you deserve that, yet. You still haven't properly explained."

"ELEANOR YOU ARE A CRAZY BITCH WITH ANGER PROBLEMS!" Louis screeched. "LET ME GO!"

"Interesting," I said, and I turned to Harry, smirking. "Louis snogged Kris Jenner at the award party."

Then Harry passed out bc he's a wetty.