Scribbles and Bits: Blackpink OS Compilation

Begin Again (finale)

“More of random musings. Sometimes, poetry.” I answered timidly.

“Can I hear one? I mean if you’re ok to share it” she gave me a side glace then went back to looking ahead.

“Ok. But don’t laugh, alright?”

She giggles, “I’ll try not to”

“Yah!”

“I’m kidding. Ok, let’s hear it.”

“Ok.” I cleared my throat.

“Eyes closed, heart beats
Thoughts of you plague me
My sober mind screams “No”
But the stubborn heart is clinging to hope”

She was silent for a time, her face unreadable after I said those words.

“Pining for someone?” she then asks.

“More of pining for someone I wasn’t supposed to. Not anymore, anyway”.

“I see. I was in the same boat but that was a long time ago. It was nice, the poem.” She gave a smile my way and I smiled, too.

I look at her and study her. One thing Nayeon failed to describe about Lisa is how radiant her smile can be every time she looks at me and when I smile back at her, she’d turn away and smile some more looking anywhere but me, which I find cute. Or how her eyes light up when she tastes something sweet and new. Or how her eyes crinkle when she smiles and laughs as she sings along to Taylor Swift. Or maybe I was the only one who noticed that? Or maybe that was just for me to see?

I’d like to think that it’s only for me to see. Because maybe I like discovering these little quirks of her.

She might have felt the weight of my stare as she looked right back at me and smiled, “What?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Why me?”

She gives me that bright smile that is becoming a favorite of mine before glancing at me for a split second,

“Why not you, Jennie?”

“I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen other girls that are prettier than me or you know, I’m sure are more than willing to go on a date with you. Why me? I turned you down twice when Nayeon asked. I just gave in when she wouldn’t get off my back. I guess I just wanted to know.”

And I do. I really do.

“Your smile”.

“Sorry?”

“Your smile. The first time I saw you. There’s something about it. Don’t get me wrong. It’s beautiful. But it’s... I don’t know. Like there’s something missing in it. Like a twinkle?” she laughs. “I don’t how to put it. It just doesn’t seem real enough to me. And I guess I wanted to make it my mission to put that back, whatever it was, in any way I can.”

Her response was far from what I expected. She really sees me. And not just what other people see the first time the get to look at me. Her answer made blush that I had to look away to the car window and pretend to watch as we pass the tree lines but deep inside, I was trying to calm my heart for her words did make my heart flutter a bit. It’s not like I can control the way my heart beats.

“May I ask why, again?” I smile this time, just to shake of the little tension.

“I guess because you remind me of someone I know all too well” and this time, I look at her.

“You?”

“Yeah.... I've been there. I mean. I don’t know your story but I can see it in your eyes. How cliché that may sound. You must have been through something....so much that you lost a part of yourself and you’re having a hard time finding her back”. She looks at me intently before shifting to “drive” then stepping on the gas again.