to be loved. || Who Made Me A Princess

three: camellia

to be loved.

Happiness. The state of being happy; the opposite of sadness; a fleeting moment of euphoria where you can't help but smile, just simply can't exist without sadness.

It was a strange phenomenon how humans could grow attached to individuals without biological connection. It was even stranger to think he had grown attached to a work of fiction. Or rather, what had been a work of fiction, and was now his reality.

The reality being, Diana would die.

As time passed, Arius became increasingly aware of Diana's growing stomach. That was when dread began to fill his own.

"You're pregnant...?" He blankly inquires, shocked at the prominent baby bump.

Diana smiles at him, joy radiating off of her very being, and it suddenly makes him feel sick. He watches as her grin morphs into concern.

"Little Angel are you alright? You're much too pale." She places the back of her hand onto his forehead, and he flinches hard.

His palms are sweating now, and his breathing laboured.

He can't seem to hear Diana even though he was fully aware her lips were parting words. You're okay, Little Angel...I'm here. Is what they seemed to be saying, and he slowly calms down.

"How are you feeling?" She asks when she knows he's calmed down enough.

"N-Nervous. W-Will I be a good b-brother?" He stammers through his lie and the relieved look in Diana's expression doesn't help.

"You'll be the best brother, don't ever doubt yourself. Your sibling will love you." She brushes his hair with her hands. How it would have been soothing if he just hadn't known.

But, gosh, she didn't know.

No one knew what was about to come, and for the first time over countless years of living, he was scared of losing something he had finally found: a family regardless of blood.

His grip on her hand tightened.

Everything was going to go downhill.

[...]

He had finally gotten better at sketching, but he couldn't seem to put a pencil to paper. Diana was still on his mind.

How long would it be until she found out it was either her or Athanasia who would live? How much longer until his father began his ruthless massacre?

Arius swallowed. Would he kill him too?

Truthfully, he was never meant to exist in this world. Or at least, in the way that he did, becoming part of a pre-existing plot. Would Diana's death be the wedge acting as divine intervention that would end the possibility of him altering its initial course?

When he thinks of Claude, the same man who would hold his hand as they perused the sea of peonies, the same man who would be shocked over small acts of affection...He thinks, maybe the man was more than just an emperor but a genuine, if not really flawed, father. Someone who would protect his son.

Yet, cold jewel eyes always seemed to appear in the back of his mind. Rather than lifeless, it held the excruciating apathy the comic had depicted, only staring at him.

On his page, staring back at him were the two narrowed orbs of his father and it absolutely frightens him of a reality that may not be too far.

The overwhelming urge to see Diana grows. So, he stashes away his sketches and does just that. Felix wasn't there to escort him, and he didn't want to bother the maids. Instead, he leaves his palace still in his nightgown and shoeless.