Twenty One | SinRin

TWENTY

"I like you SinB-yah." I held myself back from crying for the infinity of chances she'll respond was already swirling in my head with undecipherable toxicity, "Really, I do."

But to kill those infinite numbers dwelling in me, she didn't respond. The only thing I heard was her cup of coffee thumping on the ground, the liquids starting to collect underneath as she dropped it in utter haze.

"SinB-" the time I tried reaching out to her, she backed away further. Not so far where I couldn't touch her within my reach, but enough distance to obviously imply the 'please don't come any near' kind of message.

She wasn't speaking still, and I'm getting scared to death, anxiety ransacking my left self-composure as moments pass.

If she doesn't feel the same way, she could have just said it. Not stay mute and let the silence gravely deteriorate my eardrums and my heartbeats.

When I finally had the courage to look at her in the eyes, there I saw the thing I feared the most - terror.

It sent vigorous shivers down my spine, I almost thought I'd collapse in my place if not for the steady chattel I'm holding onto.

"Bi... please don't look at me like that. It's okay, you don't have to return the feelings, it's just that.. I want you to know about how I feel for you, really I just want to let it out." I pursed my lips and swallowed the lumps of stress forming in my throat, "Really I feel like my heart would explode if I don't get it out of my chest. Please SinB-yah.."

"It shouldn't be me. I'm sorry." she eventually muttered in an almost inaudible voice.

"Why-" but even before I could continue my words, with the same terror filled eyes and the almost muted screech of her chair on the floor as she pushed it backwards, she stood up and depart from the café like nothing big ever happened, leaving me completely frozen in my seat for hours.

What does that mean? Was it a 'no', 'I am straight', 'I already have someone', 'give me time', 'you caught me off guard', 'I don't give a fuck', 'you're disgusting', 'I hate you.' type of answer?

Aside from the apology, which I never know what for, all she did was throw me that look, with her orbs catering dismal solitude, burning stars and crashing planets... literally the whole cosmos.

She left me with galaxies and galaxies of things to comprehend but little did she know, I'm just a speck of dust, small and feeble and almost non-existent, waiting to be sweep away by the wind.

So... what am I beyond the realms of her impeccable self, extending from galaxies to galaxies? What am I?

"Miss," a hand tapped my shoulder, "We're about to close now.."

If I haven't controlled myself, this crew's nose would have been bleeding already, there's just no way one wouldn't be startled by that.

She probably saw the stunned expression on my face and she awkwardly trailed off, "I am sorry miss, I've been calling you for a couple of minutes already, but you don't seem to hear me."

Yeah right, I was stone here in my seat for hours already. Of course, I haven't pay attention to anything except SinB.

"Ah yeah.." I chuckled bitterly, "Uh, do you perhaps know how long I've stayed here since the beautiful girl - you know red hair, cute smile and oversized sweater, I came along with, left?"

She drew her brows in confusion, her mouth falling a bit open, "P-pardon miss?"

I hit the side of my head as I realized how dumb my question was, "Sorry, well uhm, nevermind.. you must have been busy with customers and many other stuffs to notice things like that eh?"