Safe With You

37. Cons of Being Famous.

We didn't stay at the party long. We ate, played the adult game, then came back to the apartment. We're both exhausted and sweatpants sound way better than pants. My family was a little bit too much for Hunter and ya know who can blame him? If you thought that family dinner was bad, add about 30 more people.

Yeah.

"Okay, okay. Thank you so much! Alright, bye." Hunter says into the phone just before hanging up. He sits is his phone down on the kitchen counter, pacing back and forth running his hands through his hair.

"You okay?" I ask shoving another cookie into my mouth. He ignores my question and keeps pacing back and forth. "Hunt, seriously, whats up?" I push myself off of the stool and walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist forcing him to stop.

"Well, ya know that Blown Away Tour thing we've been talking about going on?" He asks nervously.

"Yeah...?" I look at him confused, he's almost in tears, he's never this upset. Did they tell him he couldn't go anymore? "And..?"

"Well, they finally got the dates, and it starts in two weeks." A tear escapes his eye and he quickly brushes it away. "And I can't... I'm not allowed... dammit." He cusses himself.

"I know, I know its okay." I wrap my arms around his chest so he can wrap his around my neck. He does as I predicted and cries into my shoulder, slowly squeezing me tighter the longer we hug. "Don't worry, its going to be okay." I sooth and trace circles on his back. "Everything is going to be okay." I whisper, trying to get him to calm down enough to talk. "Hey, hey look at me." I pull myself away from him, his face is wet, red and puffy from crying. "Stop, stop that right now." I say stern, but soft. I lightly grab his face pulling it towards mine so he'll look at me. "You love being on the road, its your favorite thing! Now stop." I wipe away his tears with my hands as they pour out of his eyes like Niagara Falls. "Please, you need to stop." Tears start to well up in my eyes and my voice gets shaky. "Tell me whats wrong, how long is it?" His eyes close only making more tears flow.

"95 shows." He whispers with a squeaky voice, his lip starts quivering again.

"Stop." I plant a quick kiss on his lips, they're salty from our tears but I'll do anything to get him to stop crying. "Hunt, stop. I begging you." He looks at me with colorless glossy eyes.

"Its 7 months, Aly I can't-"

"No! You are going! I'm not going to let you hold back from this amazing opportunity." I pull him over to the couch because my feet hurt. We plop down and he just sits there and stares at the table, no expression. "Hunt. Hunter. Talk to me, please." I beg tugging on his shirt.

He shakes his head and rubs his face for a second. "This isn't fair. Its not fair for anyone, I can't go." He says flatly.

"Hunter, you are going on this tour weather you like it or not. I'm going to be fine."

He closes his eyes for a second and sighs. "And that's what worries me the most." He says turning his head towards me. "You're going to be perfectly fine on your own, and I'm going to be missing you like crazy. I'm worried that you won't need me anymore!"

I look at him blankly for a second, trying to think of the right way to say what I want. "Really? Do you, really think that I don't miss you like hell?" I practically shout. "Its going to be so hard for me, and I know it's not fair! But this is how it has to be, and if you're going to do something as stupid as this and turn it down, then..." I haven't exactly thought of what I want to say up to this point... I guess I should have. "Then... I don't know." I let my head fall onto his shoulder. "You need to do this. We'll figure it out as we go, but I'm not letting you turn it down." I mumble.

We sit there in silence, we don't know exactly what to say, not that there is anything to be said. This tour is going to take him to the next level. He's going to change a lot and I'm not going to be there for it, he's going to want to tell me all these amazing things that happen that I can't experience with him. I'm going to be like every other hayniac out there, refreshing my youtube at 7 on Mondays just to see what's happening. Obviously he'll have breaks, and they'll be in Nashville or close to it at times so I can see him, but for a 7 whole months he won't be home. But he's living his dream. He's been dreaming about this since before he could read and I don't want to be the one to throw all of that out of the window, just because he's going to miss me. It's not fair to him, his career, or that fans if I do that. I guess that's just a con of being famous.

"Can we just, pretend like none of this happened? Live the next week like none of this is real?" He finally asks, breaking the silence.

"You're going to have to pack, its not like I can just erase it from my mind." He looks down at me, his eyes are almost as red as his face. I've never seen him so upset, especially over something this amazing. I know on the inside he's jumping up and down like a kid. "But I'll try." 

He looks up at me with hopeful eyes. "Thank you." He whispers and kisses me softly. "Can we go to sleep now?" I nod and we walk back to bedroom. He crawls in and wraps me up in his arms. I turn on the TV and play Elf because why not.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too." And for the first time he smiles, not a lot, and not for long, but just enough that I can see and mirror him.