Distance makes everything apart.

self loathing is reality for me .

I self loath myself everytime because of my looks and destiny . evry part of my life hits my mind to sadness everytime . I am tired of what i have. I really loath all such things.
Sometimes i feel helpless, sometime i feel unlucky, sometimes i feel my life is not worth living it. Sometimes , sometimes and sometimes my thoughts for life is turning fucking bad. I need more happiness , peace and love around me. I want to change my perspective towards life. I want to make myself productive and worthy person for the planet. I knw m not. But i also knw that i would be that person soon which i want to be. Living with so many negative thoughts inside me. Accepting some , rejecting many. I want to think in cogent way and make myself positive and clear about what life i am living.
I don't want regrets even though i am a person full of regrets. I want improvment in life. I know if i run after happiness then i will feel more sad and alone. I need to be neutral towards feeling. I need to give so less fucks so that i can live it positively.
I should not give a fuck to any wealthy things around me any fulfilling and cherishable things because if i wont get all such things i'll be seriously depressed by mind. But if i give less fucks to such rejoicing things i will be less attached to superficial and fake things which everyone couldn't have. So my main motive is to learn to persist in such odd to make my life better.