𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 || rini au

09. mine

"alright, give me the run-down. are we any closer to getting into the masquerade ball?"

"actually, nini already got us private invites."

"directly from the prince," she adds.

"congratulations! this might be easier than i thought. you'll still have to find a way to get the appropriate attire down in paris, we aren't miracle workers."

"of course," nini says.

"anyways, since that's taken care of, you guys will need to blend in at the actual ball. the assassination is most likely to take place during the traditional sword dance, where security will be at an estimated all time low."

"sword dance?" i ask.

"yes, it's similar to the tango? the two of you will need to learn it. i'll have my team send you the full memo as soon as we have it-" vivian tells us, but it interrupted by an assistant whispering something into her ear.

"nini, sweetheart, can you pick up the rest of the call on your pager?" she says with the slightest bit of anguish in her voice.

"oh, uh, absolutely," nini picks up her black pager transfers the call, getting up from her seat at the counter and pacing over by the bed. vivian says something over the call that makes her face drop, and a few moments later she hangs up.

"what was that about?" i ask.

"oh, no, it's nothing. it's just..my dad died?"

"nini! oh my god, are you okay?!"

"i'm fine. it's not like i really knew him, anyway. should we order in for dinner?" she says, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. she can't be fine, right? the nini i knew would be in full waterworks by now--but then again, she's not the nini i'm used to.

== n i n i 's p o v ==

i'm okay. really. i just won't think about it, and keep doing what i've been doing for the past eight years; bottling up my feelings and ignoring everything. and it works.

usually.

it's three in the morning, and i still haven't slept. maybe i'm just really emotional tonight? i don't know. i just can't stop thinking about what could've been. i know he never reached out for me, but what if he meant to? i did go off the grid for a few years. i feel the warm tears drip down my face as i try and stay quiet, not wanting to wake ricky up. i'm trying so hard to not just let it all out, but that's proving to be more difficult than it sounds. i just feel so helpless. but also like it's my fault at the same time? i don't know how he died, but what if i could've prevented it? i don't know. i know i never knew him, but now i'll never get the chance.

"hey, ricky?" i say under my breath, in the off-chance he's awake for some reason. i'm surprised when i hear an answer right away.

"yeah, nini?"

"will you do the thing? like we used to? it's okay if...if you don't want to-"

NINE YEARS AGO - ricky bowen's bedroom

"hey..look at me." i gently grab the phone out of ricky's hand, placing it on the other side of the bed and planting my hands on his jaw. he just got a text from his mom, saying she wouldn't make it back to salt lake for another week. ricky was really looking forward to seeing her, but she let him down. again.

"it's just..i really thought she'd show up this time, you know?" ricky sniffles. i bring my thumb up under his eye to wipe away a tear falling down his face.

"i know," i say, bringing my arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. i feel warm tears soak my shirt on my shoulder, but i couldn't care less. ricky reaches over and pulls his comforter over us, and we stay in this position for hours, just enjoying being this close to each other.

PRESENT

"of course, nins. i'm here for you," ricky says, picking up the pillow in between us and tossing it off the bed. he scoots closer to me and slowly brings his hands to my waist, gently encasing me in his arms. whenever i felt like this when i was little, my moms would always hold me like this to make me feel better. they got replaced when i started dating ricky. i remember we would do this all the time, and i would do the same to him whenever his parents fought--which happened all the time.

"this doesn't mean anything, i just.."

"you don't have to explain everything, i get it. tell me if you need anything, okay?"

i smile even though he can't see it and scoot back, because he's not as close as he could be. ricky presses his nose to the back of my head and holds me tighter, which makes me feel instantly better. i know it's silly, but i feel safe. i've missed this--but i'm not ready to really admit that yet. look, i'm not saying i've fallen back in love with him or anything.

it's going to take a lot more than some macaroons and a few cups of coffee for me to do that.