His Many Masks *The Boy fan fiction*

Chapter Eleven

"Tear off the mask, your face is glorious"
- Rumi

My eyes snapped open. What time was it? I sat up quickly remembering what had happened earlier. I wanted to punch myself. My impulsive actions of last night and the night before made my situation ten times worse than what it had been if I would have kept to myself.

I pictured Brahms' mask in my mind. I shouldn't have touched it, but my curiosity got the better of me. Why did he think he was so ugly? I remembered seeing his face, his actual face. It wasn't bad at all. There were a few burn marks on his right side but it didn't affect his features whatsoever. It confused me that he didn't kick me out. If I would have done that anywhere else I would've been on my own with an injury.

My cheeks burned thinking of his face, it was attractive. I tried to push it out of my mind however. The more I thought about him, the weirder I felt. I had never been attracted to anyone really. My whole life consisted of hiding and running from someone. I've never had a chance to actually find someone I liked.

"Brahms isn't that person though." I said aloud. To be attracted to.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. My best bet was to avoid Brahms. At this point space from one another was what we both needed.

I tried walking on both feet to the bathroom. To my surprise my footsteps felt almost completely painless which meant my ankle was healing. I could leave soon. I stopped for a second thinking about leaving. Leaving was the smart thing to do. But I felt like I wanted to stay just a while longer.

Unlike my old lifestyle, I have a definite bed to sleep in, a way to wash myself when I needed to, and shelter. If I rushed out of this I was a complete idiot.

I stepped up to the mirror and peered at my reflection. My hair was dirty and so was my face. Going through the walls covered me in dust and dirt.

I stepped out of the bathroom and opened the dresser drawer beside the doorway. Brahms had left old clothes inside for me a few days ago so that I'd have something to wear while my clothes were being washed. They were all large, so guessed them to be his possible old clothes or his father's. They were all lounge and sports wear. I grabbed a crew neck, and a pair of track pants and went back to the bathroom.

I turned on the water and let the steam fog up the room. I peered in the mirror once more before climbing into the tub. Seeing my naked body made me feel embarrassed. I didn't like to look at myself, especially when I was as vulnerable as I was right then. I wasn't chubby, or super thin I just never had confidence in myself which was why I couldn't bear to look any longer. I shifted the shower curtain closed, and began to wash.

Once I was finished, I towel dried my hair and got dressed. I contemplated staying in my room for a few more hours just to be sure Brahms wasn't in the kitchen. Avoiding him was my newest and most important mission.

I padded down the steps cautiously, so I wouldn't over work my ankle. The house was quiet so far. I walked slowly down the hallway, avoiding as many creaky floorboards as I could. I looked around me numerous times before taking each step to make sore Brahms wasn't lurking in any shadows.

Once I made it to the kitchen, I peaked in. Seeing that Brahms wasn't in sight, I pulled a banana from a fruit bowl on the counter and began to eat it. If I was being entirely honest, food was never extremely important to me unless I've skipped a few days worth of meals. I was alright if I only ate once a day. It's not healthy, but it never bothered me.

I didn't feel like being loud and cooking an extravagant meal for myself, so a banana would have to suit me for now. After I finished eating, I threw the peal into the waste basket and decided to go back upstairs. My room was the only place in the house that I could hide in without Brahms being around.