SCARS

Chapter One

‘I cannot believe you’re getting married, Sharon!’ 

The exciting squeaky voice of Lisa shoots through my ears as she tries in her way to congratulate Sharon who just got engaged. Lisa stares at the diamond ring on Sharon’s finger. Sharon, another friend from college is getting married to the man of her dreams who happens to be her boss. Their love story is a romantic movie in real life. I envy her. 

“Why don’t I have that?” I ask myself as I downed my sixth shot of tequila. 

‘Hey! Slow down Ireti.’ Moyo, another of my friend says.

‘It is nothing, I will be fine.’ I smile and tell her.

Lisa, Sharon, Moyo and I became friends when we were all roommates in college. Lisa and Sharon clicked as friends at first, over time we all became a squad.

We are here at Sandra’s bar to celebrate Sharon’s engagement. But the truth is, we just want to use it as a distraction for all ourselves, especially me. I have been going through a lot lately. I ended my relationship with Wole and it has been tough on me. It has been four months and counting since the end of the relationship. And it has been hell for me. The girls are really happy I ended things with Wole because he was a monster. The reason I stayed in the relationship for so long baffles me. 

“I am happy it is over… I guess.” 

I miss Wole, and it is very hard to explain to the girls. I mean would you miss someone who abused you in every way possible way? I invested so much into our relationship. I gave him my all. The bitter truth is, a part of me will always be with him. The fact that I miss him so much makes me sick to my bones. That is why I have resulted to alcohol. It takes me off the edge. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a full-blown alcoholic, I’m just a much-controlled alcoholic. I don’t know if that makes sense. I am a nurse, so I cannot be sloppy when it comes to the job. So, controlled alcoholic, it is.

‘Ireti!’ Sharon calls. 

Shifting me out of my thought. 

‘You have been a genuine friend since day one when we all shared dorm room.’ Sharon continues.

‘Hold up Sharon!’ I interrupt. You are the one who got engaged, we should be doing the speech. Am I right girls? 

‘Oh yes, sister!’ Moyo says as Lisa, the drama queen shouts ‘preach girl!’

‘We will get to that. I just want to put it out there that I am in love with you and it is forever girl. I love you to the moon and back. Thanks for putting this hangout together’ Sharon says.

Sharon is a sweetheart. She is that kind of friend that can go hell and back for you. Sharon will go all out for you if she cares about you. An incident with Wole is an example. Sharon came to visit me at my apartment. While engaging in a discussion, Wole comes and demands to see me, I excuse myself, then follow him to the room. He told me he wanted to have sex that very minute. I told him I couldn’t because my friend was around and it would be disrespectful to her. He slapped me and said I raised my voice at him and also denied him what was his right. I was already used to the slaps by then. I had always made up the excuse that it was his way of showing me he cared. I feel nauseous thinking about it now.

I blame my aunt for it as she had told me earlier on in our relationship, when Wole assaulted me for the first time, that it was normal for men to beat their woman, it means they cared and are ready to settle down with you. 

The image of marriage was painted to me by my family members as the ultimate goal and achievement. So, when I found Wole who loved and cared for me, even with the beatings. I endured because I was dumb to believe that marriage with him was set that way. At first, the beatings were really bad and I couldn’t withstand the pain, but then I got numb and got so used to it.