Just Too Sick To Function

19

"You always told me what you want at sinusunod ko lahat 'yon, pero for once ma, did you even care to ask me what I want?"

"I did, I did anak", I hear her soft voice again

"No, you didn't because again, reputasyon niyo lang iniisip niyo and I'm so so tired of it", I said

Umalis na ako, "And I'm going to that party", sabi ko habang papunta sa labas ng bahay

Mauuna na ako sa kanya, I am not okay with what I did but I can say that atleast I overcame my fear and I knew the truth.
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Marcus' POV

INBOX: Jane Margarette Toledo
Jane: I love you Marcus
:please bumalik ka, I want you back
:why are you ignoring me??
: parang hindi naging tayo. Hindi mo na ba kayang mag consider?
: I want you back Marcus please
: You're dumping me just like that? It's your loss Marcus

Jane: Hey Marcus, kamusta kana?
:Talk to me Marcus, please
:anong ginagawa mo ngayon?
:Marcus, I am saying this again, I still love you and I will do anything please, just please forgive me, patawarin mo ako sa mga ginagawa ko, mahal pa kita Marcus
:Mahal pa kita

Pare-pareho lang yung mga sinend niyang messages the past few days

I told her to stop bothering me, to stop coming to the hospital for awhile. Sipsip siya nang sipsip sa'kin

Makikita ko ngang inaaway niya si Emma sa
mga tingin niya, parang pinapakita niyang siya parin ang pipiliin ko

Not the I'm assuming anything but those past few weeks with Meryl and Emma, I got to know them more and I witnessed our feelings are slowly showing.

Pinipigilan ko talaga feelings ko, at lalo siyang lumalaki habang pinipigilan ko siya.

What I'm concerned about is Margarette. I mean, hindi magiging madali para kay Emma 'to if ganyan ang attitude ni JM sa kanya.

Kasi if malaman niyang pinili ko si Emma, malaman niyang may gusto ako ni Emma, na I really really like her, ano kaya ang magagawa niya kay Emma?

Pero ba't ko ba bigyan ng atensyon ang ma fefeel niya? Why do I have to care na si Emma naman talaga ang pipiliin ko?

Eh kasi nga hindi ko gustong may gawing kagagohan tong si Margarette kay Emma.

I've learnt a lot of things being with Emma and Meryl pero hindi ko parin magawang aminin ang nga nararamdaman ko. I'm not really sure if dahil sa kung ano ang magagawa ni JM o dahil hindi ko gustong maranasan ulit ang sakit na naidulot ni JM sa'kin noon?

INBOX: Jane Margarette Toledo
Jane: Happy Birthday Marcus! Have a blast!

Nag text na rin yung mga kaibigan ko at mama ko ng Happy Birthday message

'Yon na ang last message niya which sinend niya kaninang madaling araw

But anyways, too much for that, today is my birthday, I don't want anyone to ruin this day, not even myself.

My mom's out of town because of business, she said she was sorry because she couldn't be here on my birthday but it's totally fine

I really didn't plan anything, I called my friends if they can visit me but even though they'll be coming home from school early, they can't, they said they have exams next week, so it's a no

I tried convincing Emma and Meryl but it turned out, it's Emma's first schedule of dialysis, it takes 3-4 hours and Meryl's parents are coming over for her today, so I am alone in my room on my birthday.