It Burns Within Us | Wildfire Series Book 1

T H I R T Y - F O U R

I held up the papers, and her face dropping told me everything.

"Were you going to tell me about this?"

Her movements were slow as she placed the spatula on the counter and turned off each burner on the stove, leaving the bacon and eggs to sit.

"Bren—"

"Were you going to tell me that..." I glanced down at the paper, reading off of it, "you're at high risk for seizures or strokes. Or that even after your surgery there's still a chance of—"

I broke off, forcing my mouth closed with a shaky hand. Madie's face had drained, white and pallid, but she didn't say anything. She stared at me, her expression stony.

I swallowed hard, and when I thought I could manage to talk, I asked the question I really wanted to know. "Why the hell were we in that club last night? That dance floor was like a playground for seizure activity, and I pulled you right out onto it."

She blinked at me. "We were there because I wanted to be there."

Scoffing, I opened my mouth to tell her how ridiculous that sounded, but she cut me off.

"This is exactly why I didn't tell you. If you knew, you wouldn't let me do anything—"

"Because—because seizures!"

"No, because you think I'm broken, Bren! You think I'm weak, and I can't handle myself. Or anything!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. 

I jerked back. "I don't think you're broken, Madie." I tried to keep my voice low and soft, knowing that another outburst was threatening to break through my lips. "I think you've been through a lot, and things like that take time to think about and heal completely. But I don't think you're weak. I don't think you're broken."

"Well, I don't want to think about those things, okay?" she retorted, her tone anything but low and soft. "I just want to be okay for once in my life. I want to forget. And when I was out with you last night, I felt that. When I was in your arms, I felt that."

To some, the words might be welcome—the knowledge that they were that person for someone else. But not me. Something twisted in my chest.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it." I tossed the papers on the countertop, and they went flying. "I don't want to be your distraction, Madie," I yelled. Hell, I screamed that shit. "I've had that with other girls—it's all I've ever had with other girls. And I thought it was different with you. I can't fucking do that with you."

She opened her mouth, but I wasn't done.

"And what?" I choked. "You thought if you talked dirty enough and sucked my dick and made me lose my goddamn mind, I wouldn't even realize any of it? I wouldn't realize that you were just using me? I can't—you can't just use me to get over Quinton, Madie!"

My shirt was still hanging limply between my fingers, and I threw it on. It smelled like her, and I just couldn't. I couldn't do this. I should have kept my distance from her.

I spun on my heel, not knowing where I was going but knowing I needed to go.

Madie's trembling whisper stopped me. "You're not a distraction."

"What?" I turned—but only halfway. I only turned so far that I could see a sliver of her somber expression.

"You're not a distraction," she repeated. "It's different with me. I promise it's different with me."

I raised a wary brow. Everything in me wanted that to be true.

"I want to be with you."

I turned all the way around. Madie seized my eyes with her watery ones, and I couldn't look away.