AXED

Chapter four: BPD

"Good morning Hajiya Hindu," a fair, bearded man greeted Hindu.

"Good morning doctor Abbas, it has been a while."

"Yes, you know how the work gets stressful. How is Lami doing?" He asked, scrutinizing Umayma, typical doctor that he is.

"She is doing much better Alhamdulillah. She is even pregnant with her third child."

"Ah, Mashaa Allah, so what brings you here?"

"This is my friend, Hadiza and her niece Umayma. Actually, we are here because of Umayma." Dr Abbas nodded.

"Actually, I don't work in this hospital anymore. I work in an NGO now, I just came here to collect some files, you're even lucky you met me." He said gesturing to the files he was holding. "But I will give you the address of the NGO so you can come tomorrow as an appointment."

"Okay doctor thank you so much. See you tomorrow In Shaa Allah."

Mayma's thoughts
During the janazah, many people stared at me like I was some kind of new specimen. It was as if they'd never seen a teenager in shock before. Sputtering aunt Salima wouldn't stop talking. She was the elder sister of Uncle Qaasim's wife. She was looking for excuses to get to me. 'I'm trying to make her talk,' she'd said. 'She needs to snap out of this. She needs to find an outlet to release her grief.' And then she got on Aunt Hadiza's last nerve when she indirectly accused me of the whole thing. 'How is it that a fatal accident that killed three people left Umayma alive?' She asked no one in particular.
'Salima, it would be better if you keep quiet. Your daughter is busy following men around and you're here accusing this poor girl. If not for the fact that you're spewing rubbish, then please keep quiet for the sanctity of this occasion.' That shut her up totally.
On the third day, my classmates and teacher came to visit me. Amina was crying endlessly. Classic case of crying more than the bereaved. Majority of them said they understood my plight. HA! As if they'd ever lost three people at a go. I sat motionless throughout their visit and did not acknowledge their departure. My teacher asked Aunt Hadiza when I'd be returning to school. She'd did that I wouldn't be able to return to school until I recovered. My uncles decided that I should move in with Aunt Hadiza. She also wanted it because her husband Ma'aruf was behind bars and she had no children. The first few weeks after I'd started living there were uneventful, but soon after, the emptiness in my soul started gnawing at me. I'd wake up at odd hours of the night and stare into nothingness for a while before tired sleep would overtake me. I began to feel restless, and I'd find ways to hurt myself even if a little so that I could feel the pain that Mami, Baba and Ubaida felt when they were dying. Aunt Hadiza would bring me concoctions to drink from several clerics thinking it would bring me out of my trance. I always drank it, though I knew it wouldn't do me any good. It was always satisfying to see the hope in her eyes. One time, I nearly burnt myself. I had found a full liter of kerosene on top of the cabinet in the kitchen. It seemed like the most rational thing to do, so, I poured the whole bottle on myself and was about to light the match when Aunt Hadiza came into the kitchen.
•••

The next day, Hindu came to the house and together, the three ladies made their way to the Bilyamin Foundation. The NGO mostly dealt with special children and teenagers. Most of these kids were gifted in hand crafts and that contributed to the funds the foundation got. There was also a huge farm where crops, vegetables and fruits were grown and sold to the public after harvesting.
The foundation itself was a U-shaped storey building with one side of the U constituting of the boys' dormitory, the other side the girls' and the base of the U contained the admin offices. The open space was the playground where most of the children spent their time.

"Good morning Hajiya Hindu," Dr Abbas greeted when they settled down in his spacious office on the ground floor. He sat behind an unusually huge mahogany table. Pictures of several parts of the brain were posted on walls that were painted in the soothing colors of white and a tint of turquoise.