SINNERS & SAINTS ⋆ nikki sixx

25. ✭ devastation

His calloused fingertips gently traced circles against my clothed core, my bottom lip getting tugged into my mouth as I tried to suppress any kind of whimper threatening to slip out.

"Fine...but only if--" I cut myself off with a guttural moan when Nikki, skillfully, pushed my panties to the side and pressed his fingers against my clit.

"But only if what?" He teased, rubbing slow, agonizing circles around the sensitive bud, grinning to himself at the way I put a hand on top of his to urge him to pick up the pace. "Come on, use your words, princess."

My eyes rolled to the back of my head at the feeling of his digits flushed to my sensitive flesh. "Only if you--fuck--only if you go slow" I managed to get out before he was sliding a finger in, while his thumb was rubbing against my clit at the same pace.

Thank god I was sober at that moment, because being sober meant I was able to actually enjoy whatever it was that Nikki was doing to me.

Lord knows how many times I had to fake my orgasms in order to make him think that he was pleasuring me, because I was so plastered that I literally couldn't feel a thing.

Heroin = absolutely no sex drive. And we both felt the same way. Only Nikki was able to get off a hell of a lot easier than what I was.

My left cheek was pressed against the pillow as my hands clawed and fisted at the bed sheets. "Harder" I let out, continuously, like that was the only word I knew how to speak.

"Alright, baby, anything for you" he spoke through gritted teeth, slapping my ass while he held onto my shoulder with his other hand--pushing and pulling me into him.

The sting of his touch mixed with my sensitive, sweat cloaked skin, that felt as though it was on fire with every ounce of contact, caused my body to jolt forward. Nikki's hands both laid a hold of my waist in order to keep me in place, before he was forcing himself into me to the hilt.

Tears of pleasure began welling in my eyes and my whole frame felt as though it was about to go completely limp, but I was still nowhere near climaxing. He, however, was very close.

"Fuck, fu--fuck" he let out and slowed down because he definitely couldn't hold off his orgasm any longer. We'd been at it for an hour and a half, and I was still clawing at the sheets, just waiting for that knot to start building in the pit of my stomach. But nothing. I was nowhere near the end.

Nikki kept pounding into me, trying so damn hard to get me off. And I felt fucking bad that nothing was happening.....so, while he was groaning and moaning because he was spilling his load, I reached between my body and the bedsheets to rub at my clit.

"Nikki--please--just one more time" I let out in a sweet moan when my fingers made work at my sensitive flesh. I only said "just one more time" so he wouldn't hesitate to at least try to fuck me into next Tuesday. And then, it was only a matter of about ten minutes before I came, and it was not how I wanted it to be. I felt nothing. No pleasure, no satisfaction--my clit wasn't even overstimulated. I didn't know what had happened to me.

Sex was starting to become a chore rather than a want and need. I only slept with Nikki because we were married, and if it wasn't me that he was fucking, it would've been some other slut he'd find at some bar or show.

I just wanted to shoot heroin, snort cocaine, drink as much tequila as what my body would allow, and sleep it off until we could go straight back out to get tremendously fucked up.

My heels clicked against the tiled floor as I sauntered into the bathroom. With bold lips and tired eyes, I was on the forage for anything that could get me as blitzed as what I needed to be.