Jesus Oneshots

(jeju) | Jesus X Judas | Through the eyes of Judas

From the point view of Judas.

We were two figures laying down on a field full of wheat with. Jesus and I on a starry cold night, we were cuddled up together to keep each other warm. I was resting on him as he slowly played with my brown curly hair, I could hear his heartbeat beating. It was calm. I lifted my head up to  to talk about our next travel destination we were going to, but I froze. I got distracted by his face. His beautiful skin that was like wet sand looked so otherworldly under the moonlight as if it was glowing. Oh, how I just wanted to put my lips against that rough skin. But I knew I could not do that, my mother would have accepted it but.. She was growing weaker everyday and had only one wish, that her only son would continue their bloodline. I knew I had to fulfill it, she was the most dear person to me. "Judas.."

My thoughts got interrupted by Jesus's velvet like voice. "Yes?" I answer immediately.

"You have a very worried look on your face, is everything alright?" He asks so innocently while giving me a worried look with his deep brown eyes I could barely see in this deep dark night.

"I.. I don't know..." I muttered. I was not sure if I should tell Jesus about my feelings for him. He is my teacher and mentor after all, and I had deep respect for him. I did not want to ruin our current peaceful relationship. But something inside was screaming for me to get more. More of his attention, his love. But I will not get it if I won't say anything, I made up my mind and sat up. "Jesus, I-" I started to hesitate. Was this the right choice after all? "Yes?" he asked. I needed to be honest with him. "I.. I have feelings for you... I know you are just my teacher but, you, you are everything to me. You brought light to my life that I never knew existed. And these trips to spread the word of the god have been so very wonderful with you.." I looked worriedly at his face but his face had not changed in the slightest. He still had the calm expression on his face that I could not read. He started to part his lips slowly as I was ready to hear a rejection, I quickly turned my head away from him to not show my disappointment to him. "Judas, are you sure?" I turned my head back to his direction, surprised by the question. Jesus was there already sitting and staring me in the eyes. Oh how I could stare into those deep brown eyes forever. But I did not hesitate to give an answer. "Yes! I love you!" I said it. I really said it. I closed my eyes as Deep regret filled me. I should have never said that. I got up. A single tear streaming down my face. I was ready to leave for the camp where all the other students were but I suddenly got yanked back by my hand. Jesus was holding my hand with his hands, on his knees and head on my arm. "Don't go." He whispered. "Yes?" I answered shortly after. "It's just, I really love you as well but I was not sure if you felt the same way, ever since I laid eyes on you, I-" I could not resist it anymore. I got on my knees as well and slowly closed the gap between us. His lips were rough, but in a way soft. He put his palms on my face as if I was the most fragile thing in the world. I deepened the kiss and I could feel the saliva starting to leak through the corner of my mouth. We finally parted as we both needed air, both breathless and a string of saliva connecting our mouths.

I opened my eyes to see who was rapidly shaking me and trying to wake me from my slumber. The first thing I see is Jesus. His beautiful brown locks resting on my face as he is looking down at me. "Good morning" He says softly. "We will be soon at your hometown, Judas. You can go be with your mother for a few days before we continue our journey. " He said this in a very calm way which made me feel like I was safe in his arms. But I had completely forgotten about my mother last night. "Yes, I am really eager to meet her. Maybe you can finally help her!" We were talking about my mother as well last night and how she is ill. '"Yes, we will see" Jesus said as he smiled in my way.
"Shall we go?"

We entered the town through the gates and immediately went towards my mother's house who lived at the edge of the town. As I enter her small house there is a smell of iron filling my nose. "Mother?" I called out to get a response. Silence. I walked towards the bed where my mother always slept but a woman's body lays on the floor and her pale face filled with streams of blood that had already dried on her face. The woman had fallen and hit her head on the hard, cold hard floor. It was so obvious what had happened. The woman had gotten up from the bed and lost her balance due to her bad physical condition and as a result fell and met her end. "No" My voice broke. I fell on my knees and tried to speak to her. She was still alive right? She was just unconscious. "She is fine, right, Jesus?" I asked hopefully as tears streamed down my face. "Right, you can fix this?" I said in a shaky stone. I hear steps coming closer behind me and a hand being placed on my shoulder. "I am sorry, I cannot bring the dead back" The response was monotone.

I nodded, no words coming out of my mouth. She was gone. But was he not supposed to be the son of god? Did he know that his mother would have already been dead? "But.. did you know? That she was not alive anymore..?" There was silence, and an uncomfortable thick atmosphere. "Yes." was said as Jesus swallowed after, leaving the room quickly.

It has been a month since my mother's death. After her death I grew resentful of Jesus. Him knowing what had happened to my mother, him knowing that he could have prevented it. But I did not show it to him. I was silently following him until I was met with an offer. An offer that paid generous money for a little information about Jesus. I immediately accepted it. This is what he deserves. 

I regret it. I regret everything I did. Not only did I lose my mother but the love of my life as well only because I was blinded by something that Jesus was not allowed to interfere with, but I was too arrogant to accept that. I thought because he loved me he would do everything for me. My stomach empty as I had not eaten for days, my hands dirty from touching the ground for days. Dried tears were visible on my face that seemed dull and lifeless.

It was my fault. Everything was. I look up and see Jesus as he is crucified on the wooden cross. Still quietly begging for forgiveness. I am so sorry. Suddenly his lips started to part again, like the night I confessed to him. A raspy voice came out of his mouth as he had not eaten or drank for days. "It is alright, I should have never loved you as I knew that this was going to happen but I couldn't... help it.." Jesus said this with a few coughs in between. I looked at him, shocked. "I love you, Judas" He says with a smile as his eyes closed for the final time. "No! I should be on this cross, this was my fault!" I started sobbing as His face started to grow even paler. "NO!" I screamed at the sky, this is not how it should have been. This is not what I wanted. Not this. I fell on the ground and everything turned black. Oh how sweet this feels. Maybe I will meet him again.

I look back at that time and still regret it. I would do anything to go back in time and change everything. But it is impossible and I already have moved forward in my life. "Papa!" My first born son said as he was reaching his arms up as a motion to pick him up. And so I did. I lifted him on my shoulders as we started to walk home. I had filled my mother's wish and I continued the bloodline with my current wife who had found me under the cross where Jesus had died. The woman had later become my wife and we had three sons. But she passed away when she gave birth to our third son. And soon after that my second son died when he was hunting. Was this my punishment, I wondered?