Her Name is Memory

12| empty void

"David. It's good to see you. You too Sabrina," she said. Her eyes widened when she saw me and grinned. "You too, I can't believe you came."

"I said I would," I reminded her.

She nodded enthusiastically. I peered behind Angela to see Jackson, a guy, and two girls behind her, looking at me with interest. They were all dressed for the party, definitely putting more effort into getting ready than I did with my jeans and graphic t-shirt.

"Nathaniel," Jackson said with a curt nod.

I nodded back.

"Jackson," I said, the name leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. 

She gestured to her friends. "You know Jackson. Well this is Stacey, Katie and Alex. They are in our grade and I told them about you." They all waved uncertainly, quietly looking at me with interest. Feeling awkward, I waved back. Angela took my hand and pulled me. "Come. I'll give a tour of the house."

She was pulling me by the hand gently, showing me the rooms to Kelsey's home. It seemed fun. At least, all the smiles and laughing I heard through the loud music said that. The music was not loud enough to mute the thoughts running through my mind that made me feel left out.

My focus drifted from Angela's voice and focused on her hand in mine. It was cool to the touch, my hand wanted to twitch away.

It didn't belong there.

I pulled my hand away, looking around thoughtfully at the room. Angela looked up from the movement but did not say anything. Eventually she led me back to the drinks table, and picked up the nearest wine bottle.

"This is Kelsey's house but I'm here all the time basically since we are friends. Have a drink," she insisted.

No need to tell me twice.

I took a beer and opened it.

"Okay. Best thing about being in Alabama so far?" Angela asked, bringing the cup close to her mouth and took a sip.

My mind immediately wandered to Elise.

"The stars. You can't see stars in New York City well but here they are really nice. What do you think is the best part about being in Alabama?"

"The food. I love the barbecues," she answered with no hesitation.

"Makes sense. It's pretty good," I agreed. If my friends and their families heard I said that, they would probably kill me but it was true.

"I know Alabama is different from New York. I can understand if you miss a lot of things from New York," she said with understanding. I felt embarrassed, as if I was naked and she could see right through me. I took a long swig of beer to wash away any of the negative feelings.

"Yeah. We moved here because my Mom died. It's been an adjustment," I admitted, not sure why now was the time to share it.

It was the first time that I said that to someone who wasn't family. I felt shame from talking about it, not because what happened was shameful per se, but more rather the fact that I couldn't stop it from happening.

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" she asked with sympathy. I felt the familiar twisted up feeling in my stomach.

"Inviting me to this party is more than enough. Thank you though," I said, feeling the truth behind my statement.

Angela opened her mouth to say something before I heard a loud woot. An arm wrapped around a neck by a definitely tipsy David.

"Nate. I need to tell you something. Come with me. I did something," David whispered loudly. Feeling his bodyweight on my neck, I crouched away and gave an apologetic look to Angela.