Welcome to my mind. A dizzy but pleasant vortex of feelings no one understands, with a tease of words and thoughts never said. Yeah, it sounds kinda crazy but then again, everything in me is. I know this is horrible coming from a 17 year old, but twisted pasts lead to broken people.
I stare at the long, pale legs in front of me, and then I sumerge in the warm water, at the point in which I'm lying silently in the bottom of the bath tub. I don't move, I don't blink, I don't breathe.
I do this everyday, because I love the sensation of drowning, well not drowning, but almost.
I release my last breath, which goes up in a bubble to the surface of my feelings. And after that, when my lungs don't have any oxygen left, and I feel the pressure building up in the back of my throat, in that last second when I can't stand it anymore, I rise. I rise out of all the words and thoughts never said, and breathe again, I bring the life back to my body as my lungs struggle for air.
But why do I stop? Why don't I let the feelings overtake me with the waves of everything inside me? Well because I still believe. After 8 years of almost-drowning in my bath-tub, I still believe.
I believe. I believe I have galaxies inside me and I swear if you sit with me long enough you will see them start to leak out from all of the imperfectly stitched seams I tried sewing up. I have universes in me that are dying to come out. They are made up of every single word I have never said, every single lyric I've sung, and every book I've read. They are made up of everything that matters.
One of these days i'm going to tear myself open and let these stars out. I'm going to light up the room and splatter the walls with my solar system. If I open my chest, my whole damn heart is going to fall out. It's my sun you see, and it's about time I let it shine. I have galaxies in me and one day I'm going to let them show. We are all galaxies. All secrets. We are all made up of mistakes and bad decisions, but shit, our galaxies are fucking beautiful.
YOU ARE READING
INHALE
FanfictionShe had been falling. Falling too fast and too far. Her eyes were dimming. But then she came to a stop. She could hear the water, but didn't feel it. Her eyelids began to close, landing on a brief image of her savior before she was gone... _________...
