Only a Paper Moon [ Band of Brothers ] 3

[6] The Price of German Blood

Summary: Alice is confused about how to see herself after Kaufering IV. Is she German? or Jewish? or both. Shifty plays babysitter. From WeComrades' Tumblr prompt list, number 13, Shifty Powers + "Did you read this?" + cosy blanket.

Continuation of Humanity of the Broken chapter 31

Landsberg, Germany

She was so tired. Everything ached. She couldn't tell if it was her upper body or her heart that cause the pain in her chest, but it didn't really matter. Nothing really mattered. The only thing that mattered was the camp a few miles away filled with the faces of her brethren.

Alice was German. She was French. She was Jewish. She should've been dead, or dying with her countrymen behind bars or the men and women of other nations that Hitler had defiled.

Alice was German, and she hated it. Or she would've, if she'd had any energy left for hate. Really all she felt was sad. It filled her chest with a deep heaviness. She didn't know why she was here. Elsa's letters weighed in her jacket. Usually, she didn't even think of them. But after seeing the camp that her cousin had spoken about in her notes, they'd become like millstones.

She'd been asked to stay in the town. She knew Harry was organizing relief with Lip. She should've been there, should've been atoning for her German half. She should've been there, aiding her people in the camp. Alice hated it. She felt like both the oppressor and the victim. It confused her. She already couldn't think straight; the last thing she needed was more problems to work through.

Someone knocked on the door. She hadn't moved since Harry had deposited her in the living room of the house, half curled in on herself in the living room across from the fireplace. She still didn't move.

It didn't take long for the visitor to enter. She looked over as she heard multiple people move through the house. Harry, Lip, and Shifty came into the room. Alice straightened up. Shifty had several blankets in his hand.

"I'm not staying here," she said. Alice didn't miss a beat, getting up from the couch. She hadn't gone inside. She needed to go in, she needed to bear witness to what her country had done. Before they could say anything, she pushed past them.

"Alice! Stop." Harry grabbed her arm. "Stop."

"I'm going back," she told him.

Lip and Shifty had moved into the room, giving them a bit of space. The former had a permanent grimace it seemed, and Shifty just lingered near one of the chairs, unsure of what to do. With a glare, Alice turned to Harry.

"Give us a minute," Harry ordered the other two. Taking her elbow, he dragged Alice to a different room. "You need to stay here."

"Harry, no, I've got to see them," she said. She sounded pitiful even in her own ears. "My people did this. My people..." she trailed off, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "They did it to my people. We did it?"

"Alice. Listen to me," Harry insisted. "Stay here. I'm leaving Shifty with you, and no not as a babysitter," he added, when she went to protest. "As a friend. Please stay here."

She'd never heard Harry Welsh sound desperate. He usually had a toothy smirk, or he spoke to her with unapologetic directness, a bit like Ron. She couldn't remember him ever saying please like he just had. Alice paused.

"Okay," she said.

She could seem him visibly feel better. With half a smirk, he shook his head. "I've got enough on my hands working with Webster as a translator. If I need your help, I'll send Lip."

"Okay," she repeated.

He nodded. She nodded back. Alice still felt a bit lightheaded. Allowing herself a moment to breathe, she just watched as Harry disappeared to find Lip. Then she followed.

She found Shifty back in the living room. He was glancing at the side table, where she'd left the letters from her cousin. The floorboards creaked as they walked. Harry patted her once on the arm and then followed Lipton to the door.

"Did you read them?" she asked.

Shifty startled at the question. He shook his head. "No, I surely didn't. I can't read-"

"German." Alice nodded. She'd forgotten they were in German. "Right. Do you want tea, if you're stuck here with me?"

With a small smile, he shook his head. "No thank you. But I can make you some, Lieutenant," he added. But she just shook her head, and he held out something. "Here you go. Lieutenant Welsh found these blankets in the house next door. I do declare them to be the most lovely things I've felt in ages."

That made Alice smile a bit. She crossed back to the couch and grabbed the one that Shifty offered. He wasn't wrong. They felt a bit like paradise. She held the thick brown wool to her face and took a deep breath.

The thing Alice had always loved about Shifty was that he didn't ask questions. Not unless she offered answers. So she just sat in silence with him. He had taken up a chair and started reading a book, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Alice remembered the men had been passing it around in Sturzelburg.

She left the German letters on the table. Pulling the blanket up to cover everything but her face, she sighed. Earlier it had made sense. Endlösung der Judenfrage. Now it just confused her. Was she German? Or Jewish? Or French? Or was she all of them in one? It confused her like when she tried to figure out where Adelaide ended and Alice began.

"Lieutenant, you can go to bed," he said. "Alice."

Hearing Shifty say her name made her startle. She realized she'd started drifting off on the couch. Her neck ached from the uncomfortable position she'd been in. Shifty rarely used her name. He used her rank, which she secretly appreciated.

She must've looked pretty bad if he'd said Alice.

"It wouldn't be fair," she tried to protest.

But Shifty shook his head. "A whole lotta things aren't fair today. I won't mind one bit if you go rest. My dad would'a been right mad at me if I didn't tell you that."

She smiled. She loved hearing about Mr. Powers. He'd often regaled her with tales of his shooting prowess when she'd visited his foxhole in Bastogne. "Okay, Shifty. Don't burn the house down," she added with a laugh.

"I'll be quiet as a mouse, Lieutenant. Won't even know I'm here."

Alice yawned as she stood from the couch. She would sleep, and then maybe shower. That sounded nice. "Thanks for the blanket, Shifty. I appreciate it."

"Oh, no, thank Lieutenant Welsh. I'm just the messenger."

Just the messenger. She smiled again, small but a bit more confident. Alice made sure to bring the cozy blanket with her as she went to find the stairs up to the bedrooms. The letters from Elsa stayed on the side table. Messenger or not, she made a mental note to thank Shifty again later in the presence of others so he couldn't deny his own kindness. Then she went to bed.