New Years

12-31-14, 1 Hour till 2015

2014 has been such a great year, I don't know if I'm ready to let it go yet. Its been filled with good things, but I'm more worried about the bad things. I know this will sound stupid, but I feel bad for Robin Williams. He will never see the New Year, never watch the ball drop, never wake up, breathe in, and be able to say, its 2015. And I won't ever be able to wake up and say, I'm gonna finish my bucket list with my last thing, meet Robin Williams. I have a bucket list that can never be completed. I read that Robin had gotten a letter from a fan that said on her bucket list was meeting him, and he sent a letter back saying good things, but he also said, take it off your bucket list. This was in July. He died in august.  Was he planning to commit suicide? Did he plan it? I will never get these questions answered. Not with the truth, because no one knows what was going on his mind. If we did, he'd be sitting with his family waiting for the ball to drop. I wouldn't feel this way, and neither would the rest if the world. I wouldn't be sitting here pouring my heart out, along with tears. I keep waiting for him to show up and for this joke to be over, but 4 months is a long joke, and I think if it was a joke, he would've stopped by now, once he realized how many people he hurt. I would love to wake up tomorrow and see on the news "Robins back and just put out a new comedy album! Here's a clip." And then head Robins voice saying, "Remember when I died? Oh what a Day! I met Jesus and he drown trying to walk on water! Well I'm the one he was trying to prove that he was Jesus to, but the man who walks on water f***ing drown." That would make my year. But the chances of that happening are one in a million, less than that.

This year... Oh goodness it was a mess. I can't lie anymore and say it was good. Here's some of the downsides:

•I got homeschooled

•All my kittens died

•I lost a bunch of friends

•I went to a dance, and got my heart ripped out on the dance floor then trampled all over.

•Robins gone.

•I now feel like everywhere I go that the air is oxygen for everyone but me. For me its water, and I'm slowly drowning, and everyone around me thinks I'm breathing fine.

But on the bright side, I made some great lifelong friends, one will probably read this, (Hey Hayley) and the others are Madi, Sophie, and Nichole. They have all helped me more than anyone else could, and I'm forever grateful.

Thank you all for reading about my year. I hope yours was great, and I have high hopes for our 2015. Happy New Year. ☺