Life is a game where nobody wins.

Hello!

Before continuing, I wanted to thank you for being here, I am not a professional writer but I try to make my dream come true, I thank you even if you vote for my story, and now that I have thanked you go ahead!

chapter 1

My eyes open because of the noisy sound that enters my ears, I turn to the other side of the bed trying to avoid the sound but nothing. I start to touch every part of the bedside table looking for that stupid alarm clock, but I can't find it, that alarm clock is tiring me.

"Olivia! Get up!" I put my head under the pillow trying to ignore my mother's screams too, but it's useless.

The song by the Imagine Dragons continues to repeat itself, certain that their music is beautiful but at the same time it breaks your eardrums.

"Olivia!" my mother screams again from downstairs, what balls!

Annoyed, I get up and go to the desk, take my cell phone in my hands and turn off that stupid alarm clock.

"Long last!" I scream, I'm about to go back to bed but the door opens and my nose ends up slamming it.

"Mom!" I scream.

"Oh sorry honey!" she comes towards me and begins to touch my nose making me even more hurt, the mothers. 

"You are ready?"

"Actually I tried not to pay much attention, but my head can't take away that thought," I confess as I throw myself to death on the bed.

"Olivia will be fine, I went there too" I know my mother is trying not to cry, it hurts me to see her pretending.

The big day has come and the tension starts to feel in every nerve of my body. I've always been a very anxious person, struggling to keep calm, but what I feel right now is something indescribable. The sense of emptiness dominates me.

"Come on! Now get ready, let's go" I look up and get up.

I take a last look at my room before closing the door behind me and a wave of images and thoughts begins to take shape in my mind. My room has no longer been my safe place for some time now. Leaving him is not so difficult for me.

I go down to the living room where my father is sitting at the table with a bouquet of red roses and I can't hide my surprise. Does my father give me a bouquet of flowers?

My father has always been a man who focuses only on his work and his business, he has always given me expensive objects but they have no meaning, for me instead these red roses have a meaning.

"Olivia I wish you the best, you deserve it." He holds me in a strong embrace and then gives me a light kiss on the cheek. In feeling the desperation of his gesture I am moved.

"We are so proud of you, Olivia. You are moving on with your life and college is the right choice I could make." A sincere smile crosses my mother's face and, despite a little voice inside me, pushes me to thank her for the support, I can't help thinking about why they are so understanding towards me. So I don't say anything and I mention going.

"Okay, it's better to move, I don't want to be late on my first day." I begin.

I embrace my father and thank him for his little support, after which I head to the car parked in the driveway. My mother offers me guidance, but regrets it instantly when she meets my anxious gaze. So start driving and let's go for this new adventure.

The journey by car is particularly silent and the tension is cut with the knife. Neither of us dares to ask questions or say anything and I continue to nervously massage my hands hoping to get to my destination soon.

I wonder if I will be able to make friends, to be willing to open up with other people, to bring them into my life. What if my roommate is crazy? Can I ask to change the dormitory?

"Do you want me to come with you once I get to campus?" he asks me uncertainly.

"If you want, that's fine. Maybe you can meet my roommate with me." I propose, realizing instantly that I don't really want it.

"Yes, of course honey!" He has happiness printed on his face. Months had passed since I had seen my mother so happy and I can't help but wonder if she is truly happy for me or just happy that she no longer has me at home. Maybe I'm too sick with her. He had tried so many times to break the shell in which I refer every now and then, and I thought that sooner or later I would resign. He failed a million times but never gave up.

I realize that the car stopped only when a wave of students partially passed through the window. We are in the campus parking lot and suddenly I miss the air.

I repeat to be calm.

anxiety.