Balancing the darkness

Chapter 8: Train me

You sit silent in your seat, waiting for Kylo to speak. He sits across from you his helmet still off. You knew he was injured and should be bandaging his foot with the med kits on the ship, but instead he stared at you trying to figure out what he was going to say. You avoided eye contact, not wanting to be gaslighted or lectured any more.

"How did you know?" He said finally.

"How did I know what?" You said, your eyes still fixated on the floor.

"How did you know I was going to need help?"

You shrugged your shoulders, not even sure how to explain it to him. You wished that the ship ride back to the Finalized would just be over already.

"No don't ignore me, tell me."

"I was going to get a drink when suddenly my whole body just, I don't know shut down?" You tried to explain finally looking up and into his eyes.

"And just when I thought okay maybe I can get over this feeling, I heard you, saw where you were. My gut just told me I needed to go to you."

He didn't respond, instead he started to bite at the insides of his cheeks. You keeping looking at him waiting for an answer.

"You can't come on anymore missions we need to figure out a schedule or something so you can stay on the Finalizer at all times." Kylo said shaking his head. "You can't be put in anymore danger."

"What?" You yelled.

You just helped him almost murder a resistance fighter against your better judgement and the reward you receive is being stuck in your quarters? You couldn't survive having to live everyday being escorted around bland hallways or sitting in a tiny room twiddling your thumbs. You try to think of anyway to change his mind, and that's when you remember what he said that day when you first used the Force to find him.

I can help you.

"What if you trained me?" You said standing up.

"Hm?" Kylo asked turning his large body so that you were parallel to each other.

"I mean you said all that shit about wanting to teach me the ways of the Force and all that Jedi stuff. If you taught me you wouldn't have to worry about my safety?"

He shook his head disagreeing with you.

"No."

No? What did he mean no? The other day he was stroking your face and whispering in your ear trying to get you to train with him. Now suddenly he's worried about your safety and doesn't want to teach you. You were getting ready to persuade him when the pilot of the ship stepped out of the cockpit.

"We've landed already, don't you two want to get going?"

You look at Kylo who nods his head and places his mask on once again. He doesn't continue your conversation as he walks off the ship. You shake your head and run down the ramp to catch up with him, grabbing a hold of his arm.

"I'm not finished."

"Yes but I am." He said trying quicken his pace but wobbling from his injured foot.

"Please?" You practically beg.

He looks down at you and let's out a sigh.

"I'm going to the med unit, meet me in dinette by the commissary in an hour." He leaned his head down so that the cool metal of his helmet brushed against your cheek. "Just like old times with our trade agreement huh?"

You shivered and let go of his arm watching him walk away from you. You could be making a huge mistake by trying to get him to be your teacher. But if you could slowly master the Force and really wield a weapon, maybe you could get off of this piece of space junk. And this time do it guilt free.