the hangover-phil wenneck

three

You groan out of your trance of sleep when you hear Alan's annoying screams, slowly opening your eyes to see you laying in just a bra and underwear on the bar in the middle of the messy villa.

"What the fuck?" Phil yells, sitting up from his tangle of blankets in the middle of the floor to look at Alan who had tripped over him and is now laying on the floor too. You squint your eyes shut, placing your hand on your forehead as you look around at the disastrous villa that was so nice and clean in such a short amount of time ago.

"Control yourself man- goddamn, will you put on some pants?" Phil asks, looking away when he sees his entire bottom half is completely naked for whatever reason.

"Phil! Do not go in the bathroom!" Alan says, quickly standing up.

"Al, just calm down. It's me," Phil says.

"Phil- there is a tiger, in the bathroom!" he yells again.

"What's going on?" Stu asks confusedly as you just notice him for the first time sitting on the sofa in the lounge in-between the bar and where Phil and Alan are, looking like he's still drunk.

"Stu, you look like shit," you croak.

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!" Alan yells again. You look back down again, looking at your black underwear and bra. Why are you half naked and why did you sleep on the bar? Damn, you don't remember a single thing from last night.

"Okay, okay, Al. Al, I'll check it out," Phil says as he stands up, wearing just the pants he wore last night, Alan throwing a fit like a child as he screams and jumps up and down.

"Don't go in," Alan says.

"Don't go in, don't go in! Be careful. Don't, don't-" he says as Phil opens the door, quickly shutting it again when a loud roar escapes from inside. He laughs, his jaw dropped as he glances around at all of you.

"Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding, there's a tiger in there," he laughs, pointing behind him to the bathroom.

"See? See?" Alan says.

"No there isn't," Stu says quietly.

"Bro, didn't you hear it?" you ask.

"Yeah there is!" Alan says, jumping up and down.

"Dude, your dick is flopping around everywhere when you jump. No one wants to see that shit. No one," you say, struggling to accommodate to the bright atmosphere. You look back up at Alan's eyes, seeing them fixed on your body, specifically your (thankfully) covered boobs.

"Can you not fucking stare at me. It's weird," you say, knocking Alan out of his trance as you cover your chest with your arms. "Especially when your dick is out."

"And especially since you said you fantasize about her," Stu says, his eyes red as he stares straight ahead.

"Dude, stop looking at her tits. And please, cover that shit up," Phil says, referring to Alan's still naked bottom half as he finds his blue shirt laying on the ground.

"I can't feel anything," you moan, shutting your eyes again.

"Excuse me, are my pants under you?" you hear Alan ask behind you before you're pushed, a scream escaping your throat as you land face first on the ground.

"Thanks, moron! Guess my problem about not being able to feel anything is gone!" you say, slowly rolling on your back. You look over at Phil and Stu trying to contain their giggles. "Why the hell would your pants be under me?"

"I don't know. They could be anywhere, really," he says. You roll your eyes, slowly sitting up when you feel a warm liquid spill from your nose.

"It's bleeding, isn't it?" you ask, Phil stumbling over as he still holds his balled up shirt in his hand.