Losing My Virginity

Regrets

   About six AM my mom knocked on my door with breakfast saying get ready for school. It's like a family tradition, on the first day of school we all wake up to hot breakfast and my mom's beautiful smile. I happily ate my food, showered, did my hair, and dressed for school.

  I had on tight black khakis with a white collard shirt and a black cardigan. Looking like a curvy model, thick in all the right places. My best friend would tell me it's a crime to be that fine. She always let me know I was a pretty chick and I did the same for her. You couldn't tell us shit we knew we we're bad.

  Around seven Nikki knocked on the front door in full uniform just like me but she had some booty squeezing leggins on. Looking like a million bucks . I packed a outfit for after school and put it in my gym bag and we began our walk to school.

  Two blocks away from my house Toni ran after us, he looked mad as hell.

  "Ja'nae why didn't you answer my calls last night or this morning?"

  "I was busy, unlike some people I have a life. So chill out!"

  "I don't give a fuck. You know damn well I wanted to walk you to school this morning."

  "I don't care leave me the fuck alone. I wanted to walk with my best friend so I am. I'll see you when I see you."

  "Don't talk to me like I did something wrong all I did was ask." I ignored him and continued to walk with Nikki but he didn't give up he followed me. As we got closer to the school Trent (Nikki's boyfriend) came up to us and spoke to everyone. Then took Nikki by the hand and led her away, kissing her neck showing a great amount of public affection.

   After Nikki and Trent were long gone Toni pulled me by my arm and kissed my lips gently. I kissed back at first but then I pulled away.

  "Can you stop?" He asked sincerely.

  "What am I doing?"

  "Look girl I love you," he was so sweet with his confession "matter of fact I'm in love with you baby. Don't do me like this, I'm not some random nigga trynna fuck we have something real baby girl."

   I broke down into tears and responded "I love you to and if you loved me you'd wait. Just give me another year. I'm scared and I'm just not ready for that kind of responsibility."

   "I understand baby, just let me in next time. And stop all that crying you to pretty for that." Toni said showing his perfect white teeth. "Anyway bae I gotta get to school; love u. Can you call me after school please?"

  "Yea baby, love you to." I said giving him a kiss and walking away.

  With about 12 minutes until the door opens I found myself sitting on a bench, outside my school. Stearing at a sign that read Wilko High School home of the warriors. I was so busy steering at the sign I didn't even notice when Jacob sat next to me.

  "Why do you look like you where crying?" He asked sounding concerned.

  "Because I was but, I'm okay now."

  "Wanna talk about it?"

  "No thank you, Jacob I'm fine. It's good to see you though."

   " You welcome beautiful, it's good to see you to. Been waiting to see you all summer."

  "All that's Sweet." I said threw a genuine smile.

  "We still on for after school? I invited Trent and he's bringing Nikki so it won't be all awkward."

  "Yea, we're still on and I wasn't worried about it being awkward."

  "That's good, you know you look amazing today."

  "Thank you, I try." I said joking.

  "Oh, so the lady has a sense of humor." Jacob said laughing.

  "I was born this way." We both laughed. Then he grabbed me by my face and kissed me gently. I knew it was wrong but i kissed back and we both added tounge.

   After a minute or so of kissing, I pulled away and stoped him. "How could you kiss me? You know damn well I have a boyfriend." I yelled at him then without giving him the chance to respond to my question I ran into the school building.

   For the rest of the day I walked around with this angry face. Everyone who attempted to talk to me got the cold shoulder. I was pissed off, not at Jacob but at myself. I know I have a boyfriend but I can't help but be attracted to him. Maybe this was the feeling I wanted with Toni but, we would never have.

   When me and Toni first started dating it was more of a intellectual attraction than it was a physical attraction. We were friends and it was easy to be around each other so at the time it just made since that we be together. Now that we're older and I know what a relationship feels like, I'm not sure if he's the "one".

   At lunch I sat at my usual table right next to Jacob, he attempted to speak to me several times but I continued to give him the cold shoulder. Nikki shot me a look from across the table like she was telling me she wanted to smack the shit out of me. Just like any other best friend she knew I was beating myself up but, she didn't know why. I then pulled my phone out my pocket and texted her,

WE KISSED!! AND I LIKED IT... IT WAS HEAVENLY

WTF?!! That's why you're acting so weird?!

Yea... I'm so ashamed, right now

😂😂😂Girl if you don't get the fuck out of here... It was only a kiss 💋

   Reading that last message made me laugh on the inside but, I still felt bad about it. Though I was pretty sure I wasn't the only one in my relationship that had lost the love doesn't mean I should cheat on the boy I once called the love of my life.