Cost of Taste | ✓

Kabanata 10

"They offer bridging programs and classes for those who want to take another route, asshole. Baka di mo alam." Umirap ako sa kanya.

He shifted the topic. Mukhang hindi siya interesado na pagusapan ito o baka naramdaman niya ang inis ko dahil tumikhim siya.

"Hindi ka gumanti?"

Although I don't know Adren's interior motives, he was very gentle when it comes to helping me with my wounds. Pinipigilan ko nga ang kiligin dahil masakit ang pisngi ko, hindi ako masyadong maka-ngiti.

"Hindi ako naka-ganti. Pero okay na rin na pinatawag siya sa POD, ayoko lang kasing minamaliit 'yung kaibigan ko lalo na pagdating sa strands," sagot ko.

Wala naman kasi sa strand ang basehan ng talino o kakayahan ng isang estudyante. Kaya lang naman ginawa ang mga strands para mas magkaroon ng schema o prior knowledge sa pipiliin nilang kurso sa college. May mga hindi nga tugma ang kinuhang strand sa kukuhanin nilang course sa college e.

Why would people belittle someone's strand? Para na rin nilang minamaliit ang mga pangarap ng mga ito. No one should be judge based on their careers, as long as it's legal and no one is being harmed --- I think all careers should be respected equally.

"You shouldn't hurt her physically," Umiling-iling si Adren habang dinadampi ang bulak na may betadine sa aking braso. I flinched as the pain starts to register on my body.

I agreed. "I know. Masama ang gumanti."

Sa totoo lang hindi naman kasi talaga ito magiging tama. You do not fight hate with hate. You do not let it consume you but you'll need the courage to forgive them. Hindi ko nga lang magawa. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko, hindi ako anghel at hindi ko pa siguro kayang gawin 'yon. Pero pinatawad ko na siya dahil ayoko na ulit makita ang mukha niya.

Adren looks at me with confusion. His tongue was touching his left cheek from the inside of his mouth. Para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Bakit?"

"I meant something else." A ghostly smile appeared on his face.

"Someone told me before that you shouldn't hurt them physically because physical wounds can heal in an instant," his fingers were tracing the scratches on my arm.

"Hurt them where it hurts the most," his lips caressed my ears. "Hurt them emotionally, Arrisea. Hurt them where no one else can see their pain and you'll taste how sweet it is to know they're in pain but no one else can help them to end it."

Tinulak ko siya. Tinungkod niya ang kanyang mga kamay para di siya matumba.

He look stunned when I did that. Ako naman ay agad na kumunot ang noo sa sinabi niya.

"Sino naman nagsabi sa'yo niyan?" singhal ko sa kanya.

"I was just sharing my thoughts." He said, maintaining an innocent look on his face.

Like he didn't say anything bad.

Like no one told him what he said was wrong.

It was scary how heavenly divine his looks were but his thoughts were as dark as it could be.

Who would intend to hurt someone emotionally?

Bumuntong hininga ako.

I admit I'm wrong in the part where I fight back in physical fights. Pero di ko naman sasadyain ang makasakit ng damdamin ng tao!

"Since naka-shareit ka naman ngayon, mind sharing why you think like that?"

His eyes softens and I swear if I could just pause this moment I would. Nakakainis dahil mukha talaga siyang anghel!

"My Mom and Dad got into an accident ever since I was a child, no one was there for me." He began talking and my heart immediately felt sad for him.

"I'm sorry..." simpatya ko.

He continued. "My grandfather didn't also care for me and only took care of our business."

A solemn expression on his face. Awang-awa na talaga ako sa kanya ngayon at napawi lahat ng inis ko sa kanya. I knew there was a reason! Walang sungay 'to kung inalagaan lang noon!

"I grew up alone and once our house was set into fire I almost died." He was looking at me and I was just nodding my head trying to tell him to keep on talking.

He let out a long sigh. "My girlfriend from junior highschool cheated on me and got pregnant."

I can understand him now.

He had a rough life. Kaya naman ganito na lamang ang mga iniisip niya. Lumamlam ang mga mata ko.

"I can share your pain if you want to, you don't have to go through it alone." Hinawakan ko siya sa kamay at hinimas-himas pa ito. If only I can take some of his pain away.

Natigilan siya nang gawin ko ito. His eyes widened a fraction.

"Wow," he looked shock, lips parted. "I didn't know that I can really deceive people tha easily."

Nalaglag ang panga ko at hindi ako makapaniwalang tumitig sa kanya.

"Hindi 'yon totoo? Lahat ng 'yon?"

Umiling naman siya.

"I made those up, none of those were the real ones."

Kumunot ang noo ko at binato siya ng mga bulak na nasa first aid kit sa gilid ko. Napaka-walang hiya!

"I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable." He gives another fake smile. "Someone just told me that in order to hurt someone, it must be done where no one can heal it."

My heart sank. The pain in his voice was evident.

"Tarantado 'yung nagsabi no'n," tumikhim ako.

"Hm? I don't think so..."

My eyes cast downwards because I feel how insincere he was when he spoke those words. Pero hindi ko alam kung parte na naman ba ito ng maskara niya.

People tend to create another version of themselves in order to protect their vulnerable side. Mahirap naman kasi talagang ipakita kung sino ka talaga sa mga tao. It is because we tend to judge without knowing the reasons behind it. We tend to only appreciate the surface.

I didn't push it further. His eyes hesitated to look at me. Nagulat na lamang ako nang tuluyan na siyang tumayo.

"I have to go..." halos napapaos niyang banggit.

Tumango naman ako at akmang sasamahan siya pero agad siyang lumayo sa akin. Parang meron na namang pader sa pagitan namin.

He went outside and left me alone. Tumingin naman ako sa langit at dinamdam ang bawat hangin na dumadapo sa aking balat. I decide to gaze at the clouds and immediately compared him to it.

These clouds looked like they're made for the people to enjoy the sun light. It is immediately concluded that clouds are there to accompany the sun that brings warmth to the people. The truth is, these clouds are hiding potential storms in them. And no one would have guess it because all they see is the clouds blending with the sun — not knowing the disastrous rain that is about to come.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪☽༓☾❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜