Big Joe's Magical Adventure: That One Writing Assignment I Did

Big Joe's Magical Adventure

Little Timmy picked up the stool, hitting me in the head with it. I fell over and covered my face with my hands. I removed one of them from my nose and saw nothing but blood. Now, you're probably wondering, 

"What the heck did you do to make that happen?!" 

And personally, I wasn't quite sure until I saw it on the news. My name's Big Joe and this is the story on how a socially unacceptable man like me became famous... for the wrong reasons.

It was a hot, sunny day in Insert State Here. I live in a quiet, barren town with a population of roughly 80 people. It was boring and there was nothing to do.

 I wanted to change that. I wanted to do something with my life. I wanted to preform as the professional rapper I always dreamed of being! But there was one person in the way, Karen Ashelmet. She was a tall, pale woman with a haircut that screamed upcoming annoyance. I didn't mind her at first but the more I got to know her, the worse she seemed. And then there was the one I hated most; Little Timmy. 

We've been at each other since daycare.

I don't know what he had against me but I must've really  pissed him off if he's been at this since we were 4. From what I saw, I'm pretty sure he has some feelings for Karen.

One day, I had to meet someone who wanted to get me my own record deal. 

I walked down the front steps and began panting. I felt out of breath, like I just ran a marathon in the pits of Hell itself. That's when I turned around to see I was only a few feet away from my house. 

I sighed and got into my car, driving into town. 

After a while, found the small farm I was supposed to meet them at. 

"Hello, Joe." Jamie said when I came inside. He was a tan man with small, angry looking eyes and a man bun. 

"Uh, hi.. So, how are you?" 

Jamie told me that he was fine in a very irritated tone. Luckily, we began talking business soon after. 

"May I here the 'new hit single' you were speaking of?"

"Of course, Jamie! I'd love t-" 

All of a sudden, we heard another car pull in. It was a bright, lime green van that blared Christian rock music. It could be heard from miles away.

  "Karen..." I muttered. 

She stepped out of the car and ran towards me. "Joe, Joe, Joe! You will not believe what I just saw-"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Jamie asked. 

Karen gasped when she heard such a simple question escape his lips,

 "You don't know who I am?!" She yelled before slamming her hand on the wooden table. He shook his head.

 "I'm his singing partner!" She lied. 

Jamie glared at me, visibly confused. "Maybe you should've told me about her before this all started?" He told me in an angered tone.

 "I could show you my singing skills! I'll do it right now!" Karen cleared her throat, "JESUS, TAKE THE WHE-EL, TAKE IT FROM MY HAND-" 

Jamie stood up and took a few steps away from them, "All of this was unnecessary and a mockery to real artists.. Both of you can leave and forget this ever happened!" I sighed and got back into my car, though Karen ran up to it.

"I'm sorry, Joe, I just-"

"No. No, I don't care what you have to say."

"But I-"