Hurts so good

40.The past

19 years ago (go read chapter 13 if you've forgotten how they met)

Jas POV

I'm in the kitchen getting myself something to eat and as usual, Tanaka is somewhere isolated with absolutely no one around him. Sometimes it really shocks me how someone his age manages to scare the living hell out of everybody. Yes, his age may suggest that he's just a boy but his brains, his level of maturity says otherwise and to think he's only a year older than me. It's like the title ''man'' was made for him, not many 'men' I knew could reach that kind of maturity and because of that, every kid in this place shied away from him and how I  managed to break through one of the walls he built around himself was a mystery.

Making two plates of breakfast, I go and look for him at his usual spot outside in the garden but he's not there. Pivoting while my eyes scan the whole place I still don't spot him which only means he's still in his room. 

Even a tsunami or hurricane could never stop the huge grin that fills my face and that shit is wide enough to even freak me out.

I had made it a habit to make breakfast for the both of us every day in the morning and I loved serving him, obeying him was like a second necessity for me the first one being his ruthless lips on me.

So him not being out here only meant one thing and that is why I'm having this ridiculous smile on my face because him not being out here this time only meant one thing.....

He's in a bad mood and bad mood meant more ruthless, brutal attention was likely to come my way and lord knows how much I lived for moments like this.

Yes, every time he's hard on me, hello the guy can't even get it up without inflicting pain or humiliation but when he was in a mood he was the real deal and he would make sure to lash out on me and I never complain. It hasn't been a month since we started whatever the fuck we have going on if it even has a name but it already felt like we'd been together all our lives. We just fit, we make sense, at least to us we do but to anyone else it might look toxic... wait, cancel that, to others, it definitely looks toxic as hell there's no maybe there and that is why we made sure no one knew what was up between us.

Outside we only acted as friends or at least I tried to but Tanaka refused to show any kind of affection or remorse for my suffering but I was a sucker for his rudeness and that's why we were so fucking compatible, he delivered and I received. He was a mean motherfucker to everyone and he planned on keeping it that way, him showing any kind of softness to me would show everyone that he was actually capable of being kind and he just didn't want it that way so I continued acting like a hungry ass puppy around him while he just minded his damn business but it was those rare moments I loved were he sneaked a pat on my head while I was seating down by his feet or the soft caresses on my face he'd give me when no one was around. 

Of cause everyone thinks I'm crazy or just simply have a death wish, they've all warned me to stay away from him but I guess danger always had a way of intriguing me and that is why He was irresistible to me. 

As much as I didn't know about him, I knew way more than anyone else in this house. No one understands Him the way I do. So with that in mind, I check and see the coast is clear then make my way upstairs to my man. 

 It really helped that his room was isolated in the attic away from prying eyes and ears. I knock and within seconds the door is opened I'm pulled in and it's closed, plates are gone from my hands and my back is against the wall, my lips being brutalized with a hand around my neck I could feel my esophagus closing blocking the flow of oxygen in and out of my body, I knew better than to question him or panic, all I had to do was surrender and go with the flow, he'd never hurt me... no, I mean harm he would never harm me there's a difference.