Ever After

Chapter ten

'Dear lord. I humbly come to you and ask for a helping hand during my hardships. I ask for reassurance and clarity in all my actions. I know relationships aren't easy. I know there is alot of patience, good communication, trust and effort needed. But I also know that without love, it's all hopeless. And that's exactly what I dont have for Liam love.', I say to myself in the bus.

At this point, I cant control the tears that threaten to trickle down my cheeks.

'I can no longer feel like a prisoner in my own relationship. I cant continue to punish myself for the mistakes I made. I cant continue to feel responsible for things I have no control over. Because I cant mend something that's already broken.', I continue.

'I know I dont ask for much and my faith in you is not as strong as it should be. But I have no one else to turn to. I seek strength from you. I seek comfort in you. And I will forever rely upon you. So please, I am pleading, for you to give me a sign, any sign, that will enlighten the path that I am destined to take', I finish.

In a hurry, I wipe my tears because it was a foreign feeling to me. Vulnerability. It felt wierd,but somewhat refreshing. Maybe because of the little prayer I had.

Completely unaware that I wasn't alone, Diego comes behind my seat and taps on my shoulders. "So what's up", he cheerfully says.

Frightened at the idea of him seeing me vulnerable, I swipe my tears faster more than ever and pray he will be as clueless as Liam.

"Hey. What's wrong?", he asks in a much calmer tone than before. This indicates to me that he has noticed my tears. Or not.

"Hey, no nothing. What's up", I lie, still hoping I'm just overanalyzing things and that he was just trying to make conversation with me.

"Of course your not okay. Why are you crying Lia", I could hear the concern in his voice, which makes me wanna cry even more.

"Umm...no. I'm not crying. I was yawning. That's why there tears in my eyes" I lie even more. This time I plast a smile on my face, hoping that would do the trick.

"Hey. Look at me. Tell me what's wrong. What can I do to make you feel better?", he says in an even impossibly lower voice.

I turn and finally allow him to see me. This was the first time I saw genuine concern about me on his face. In fact, about anything at all. I look away from his face and through the window, reminding me that I'm about to drop off. I fetch my bag and stash my phone and earphones in it. I sit the bag in front of me and look back at Diego, who was patiently waiting for a reaction from me.

"Please dont tell anyone what you just saw. Could you do that for me?", I ask, sniffing and still wiping the tears left under my eyes.

I probably looked like a wreck. All this and I'm still trying to hold back my tears. Diego nods at my requests and looks straight in my eyes. I look away. His gaze was too much for me to endure. It's like he was searching for some clue that would let him know as to why I'm like this. We started talking just a month ago. He couldn't possibly care that much.

After a few seconds of silence, he says something I never expected. I don't even think he expected it to come out of his mouth.

"Do you want a hug?", he asks me. I nod, without giving it a second thought.

He stands up and brings me closer into his arms. As if it's one of my natural instincts, I rest my head on his chest and my arms find his lower back. Expectedly, I begin to cry. I dont hold anything back and I hold on to him as if my life depended on it. He brings his arm to my hair, slowly massaging it with the upmost tender and his other arm caresses my small back. He goes on to whisper in my ear...

"its okay. Everything is gonna be okay". I allow myself to seek comfort in him and his words.

Just this once, I wholeheartedly believe him.