loose ends

jadis wasn't surprised when he had a difficult time falling asleep, he never seemed to be able to get a good nights sleep. there was a feeling of anxiety that overtook him when he was alone, a feeling that often led him to believe he was going to die. that was always the start of the panic attacks, the feeling that he was near his end and not being able to do anything about it. however, up to this point, jadis had not had anything happen to him that with otherwise cause him harm. so, in a sense, this fear was for nothing. this revelation never seemed to stop the short blonde from crawling out of his bed each night and crossing the hall. 

the grey doorframe seemed dull against the soft light of downstairs, where the other houseguests were still lively, and would continue to be so until late into the night. jadis knocked a total of three times, waiting only a moment before opening the door and popping his head in the room. 

emerald green eyes lay upon a form curled up in blankets. nikolaj was wrapped tightly with his service dog, sophie cuddled up to him. he had earbuds in, which explained why his knocking went unnoticed. jadis was tempted to just leave the room, not wanting to startle him by tapping on him. he glanced around the room, trying to think of other ways to get his attention when he found none he let out a soft, disappointed sigh. jadis summoned all his courage and crossed over to the bed, plucking an earbud from his ear. 

" it's jadis, " the words left his lips before nikolaj had the chance to react. even so, the soldier's face conveyed shock, if only for a moment. 

nikolaj turned his head in the direction of the shorter male, seemingly unsure how to feel for a moment before he processed that jadis must have been having a rough night. he felt the dip in the bed from the other crawling into it, and pat his leg gently. " can't sleep again? " nikolaj inquired, moving to double-tap the screen of his tablet so that he book he was listening to would pause. he felt heat rise to his cheeks for a moment as he realized that he missed the screen entirely. although jadis either hadn't noticed or wasn't going to say anything, thankfully. 

jadis' green eyes flickered up to watch nikolaj move, he gently rest his head on his arm and let out a soft sigh. jadis remembered a time when nikolaj was uncomfortable with any type of contact. now that they were close, it seemed that wasn't the case anymore. " no, can't sleep, " jadis confirmed, his mind wandering again to the fact that they were so close to each other. " and before you ask, yes, I'm okay, " jadis glanced at nikolaj and moved his hand slightly towards his, keeping his eyes on him, as if watching to examine his reactions. these childish actions continued until jadis had a grip on nikolaj's hand. 

as the soldier gave a squeeze to the young witch's hand, he felt his heart skip a beat. nikolaj couldn't seem to recall the last time he had let someone into his heart, he couldn't remember the last time he wanted to. no matter how hard he tried to keep to himself, jadis always found a way to push in, he guessed he was thankful for that. the world seemed less lonely now, he had something to look forward to. nikolaj hadn't noticed his own grin, the smaller witch curled up next to him was a different story. it seemed to give him the slight boost of courage he needed to actually confess himself to nikolaj.

" I was wondering,,, " jadis began, his sentence trailing off, giving the illusion that he was about to ask nikolaj on a date. rather, something of the sort at least. " how long have we known each other? " to say that nikolaj was disappointed would be a complete understatement. he hummed, playing that off. in all actuality, he didn't know. being blind made everything, including keeping track of time, so much more difficult. instead, nikolaj tugged jadis a bit closer, trying to nudge him on and give him the courage he needed to do something. nikolaj was all for someone taking their time to get themselves together, but this was getting ridiculous. 

" eep - " jadis' eyes widened some as he tugged closer, though assumed it was accidental based on how little nikolaj seemed to react to it. he looked up at him, confused and feeling dizzy. he was so close he could feel the other's soft breath on his face. his heart was beating a mile a minute, and his brain seemed to short out. jadis knew one thing for sure, he didn't want to mess up this relationship with nikolaj. he couldn't help but wonder if him making a move would cause this all to end, nikolaj to become disgusted in him and never want to interact with him again. the thought made jadis want to cower.

he pondered what to do next, him covering his ears for a moment as he tried to calm down. he decided that just kissing a blind man out of the blue would lead to less than desirable results, and was mad disrespectful. jadis glanced to the side, rubbing his neck a little as he cleared out his throat.  

" hey, uh, " jadis began, trying not to let his anxiety get the better of him yet again. his eyes drifted to the side, although nikolaj couldn't see him anyway, so it didn't matter. " I've liked you for a bit now, and I was actually wondering if you would like to.. you know, go on a date with me? " now that he had gotten it out, the anxiety was so much worse. the pause nikolaj seemed to have didn't help.

despite this, the soldier grinned, proving jadis and his negative mind wrong. he let out a soft chuckle, rubbing jadis' back some. " yes, of course, "