Jaded Between Shades

To Be Wed or Not To Be Wed

"Okay."

They run off to find my dad and my sister-in-law comes to sit beside me. 

"So you're finally getting married today huh?"

"You say that like I'm old."

"No but you've been in a relationship with the same girl for more than a decade so yea its time... why don't you seem so happy about it?"

"I don't know...i feel okay I guess."

"It's perfectly normal to get wedding jitters, but it you are not sure about this after all this time then why are you going through with this?"

The truth was I still can't stop thinking about Jade, but she moved on and is with sir-dreads- a-lot. There's no point in trying to fight it. This is the way it has to be. I fucked up so many times. I can't get her back now anyway. 

"You're right, it's just wedding jitters. I'll be fine."

"Okay. see you out there."

We go get ready as the music starts. I take my place at the head of the alter. My brother beside me and a few of my other friends. 

"You aight man?"

"Yea i'm fine."

The music starts to swell and crescendo and instead of my wife to be I see a vision of quiet beauty walk into the room. My heart felt like it was about to explode out of my chest. She was wearing a black and gold dress and...heels, no that can't be right she would never be caught dead wearing...heels. It suddenly was hard to breath as I took a few breaths in. My brother tapped me on the shoulder.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yea.. Yea.. I'm good."

She quietly took a seat in the back. I couldn't believe it Jade actually came. Then suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. She was about to watch me marry a woman that sexually assaulted her, a woman that I left her for twice, a woman that kicked her out of the apartment we lived in. 

Jasmine started walking down the aisle. I have to admit she looked amazing in her dress. Then a thought occurred to me, why do I love this woman?

She walks up to me and said, "Ready to get married?"

I thought of the moment when I first saw her. She's always been so beautiful, but there was always a jealousy there when it came to Jade. I never understood why. 

The minister started the words and I couldn't look Jasmine straight in the eye.

"Hold it, sorry minister. One second please."

The crowd started to murmer but she didn't care. That was classic Jasmine. She knew what she wanted and never stopped for anyone. 

"Andre...please tell me you're ready to get married."

"I..."

"There's nothing stopping you, she's not even here so why are you stalling?"

"I.."

"Say something, talk to me I am about to be your wife for fuck sakes."

"I'm not ready" I almost shout.

"What?" She gasped as well as majority of the crowd. Fresh tears ran down Jasmine's face but she quickly wiped them away.

"I can't believe I wasted so much of my life on you. You worthless nobody." She grabs the mic in from the Minister's hand as she races back over to him.

"I am sorry for wasting everyone's time, but there will be no wedding today. I have wasted 15 years of my young life on this fool who after so many years still isn't ready. He loves another and where ever the fuck she is she can rot in hell along with this fucker. I'm done." She drops the mic runs out towards the exit, but not before seeing  Jade.

"You...YOU BITCH" as she leaps on to her and starts wailing on her. The ushers had to grab her to get her off. 

"Are you happy bitch?! You won! He's all yours now! Get the fuck off of me I'm fine."  Jasmine's family get out of their chairs to follow her. My family comes up on the stage near me, but I started running towards to where Jade sat.

Jade's POV

Breathing hard after Jasmine's attack the people around me started yelling at me

"You home wrecker, why the fuck are you here? You just ruined everything." 

The one day I wear heels is the one day they saved me as I kicked at Jasmine to get her off of me. The next thing I see is Andre coming up to me.

"Jade are you okay?"

"I'm fine but what the hell are doing?"

"I couldn't get married to her, I just couldn't"

"I already told you I'm with someone else"

"So then why are you here?"

I couldn't answer. But then he says

"Can you take a walk with me?"

"Don't you have a situation to handle?"

"I don't care about that, please Jade...please."

"Okay."

Andre's POV:

My brother comes up to me "What are you guys doing?"

"Going for a walk. I know I fucked this up too, but can you handle this while I-"

"Don't worry about it, but you know mom and dad are worried."

"I know, I just really need talk to her right now."

"I understand. Hi Jade... you okay?"

"Yea I'm okay thanks."

I take her out to the garden near the wedding reception tent. 

"Andre I-"

"Wait Jade let me say this. I know that you are with someone else and I get that I'm not going to beg here, I just wanted to say I am so unbelievably sorry for everything. The way we were, how things happened, you didn't deserve any of that. I never meant to hurt you, I just thought I was doing the right thing by being with her. I couldn't even remembered why I loved her, we just been together so long it seemed like something I needed to do. But you, I know why I love you. You have these amazing talents and this quiet confidence about you. You help others like no body else I know, and your smile is everything. I know that you may not feel the same any more but I have to ask, would you be willing to give us another shot?"

Jade's POV:

I thought about our whole history in that moment when he asked me. I thought about all the love I had for him that could never get anywhere. I thought about what the future would be like if I tried it one more time with him while I was on the way to the wedding. I thought about what if I came to  stop the wedding instead of just spectate. Then I thought of Lorenzo. How everything with him as been effortless: no hard feelings, no push and pull, no heart break. Easy. Then the answer was completely simple.

"No." I said with a slight smile.

"Okay...I just thought I should ask."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm not going back to Jasmine just because you said no if that's what you mean."

"It is."

"No, for real, I'm just going to be single then. I'll find someone when I find someone I guess. But can I get a goodbye kiss?"

So this was it, this was the ending to what felt like a life time.  I was going to finally close the chapter of life I had with both Jasmine and Andre.

I leaned into him and gave all of my love and pain into this kiss. I kissed him with the past, some of the present, and a hope for his future lover.  This kiss was so searing that it left us both in tears.

"Goodbye Andre." 

I walked away and never looked back.