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At an early age I kinda love expressing what I feel in many forms. 

And I tried to express it in many ways.

One of them is painting when I feel like i'm not showing or expressing how I feel on my actions I want my paintings to explain it for me. But I don't name my paintings simply cause I just want it to let the viewers feel the emotions by seeing it, and not feeling emotions through what it's called.

Other is writing when I feel like i want to remember that day I'd open up my purple diary to write what happened that day but one thing that I haven't done while writing is dropping names. 

Why? Because I know I'm gonna read that and I want to make myself remember the feeling not the person. 

And at times I make songs unconsciously. 

I just hum and suddenly lyrics comes out of my mouth automatically. And forget about it after.

I also play darts.

To test how I focus. On a topic. On a certain problem.

In every pin I put my emotions and energy  and try to aim for the bull's eye.

And the long list of things I do goes on.

and then sometimes I felt like I'm not doing all of it because i'm finding where i'm good at. 

It felt like I was distracting myself.

From something I don't even know. 

It's a constant empty feeling. 

Or a constant feeling that I want to escape something. 

Do we really heal? or we're just distracted? 



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⏰ Huling update: Jul 09, 2020 ⏰

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