J•O•N•E•R•Y•S

Part I: The One Where They Learn What Happened In Sunspear

She could tell he was worried about her, but that he was also losing his patience. She had to look away.

Come on Dany... You can do this... What the fuck am I going to say... Just tell him, she thought as she began toying with a fraying thread at the hem of her sweater.

"Well, you remember that trip to Sunspear we took with Egg, Rhae, Gendry and Marge a few weeks ago..."

"Not really," he laughed nervously, his hand reaching up to massage the back of his neck. "I remember arriving at the hotel, going to the room. Then going down to the hotel bar and getting drunk with you while we waited for the others... I don't even remember going out that night... The next thing I remember was waking up in bed with you the next morning with sharpie mustaches on our faces and used condoms on the floor... Do you remember what happened?"

A panicked look spread across his face. "Was I shitty in the sack? Wait. No. Don't answer that. Even if I was a bad lay, please keep that information to yourself."

Dany knew he was trying to keep the situation light. She also recalled the many, many times they fucked after his divorce from Ygritte and her breakup with Hizdahr.

Oh, you definitely were not shitty in the sack back then. Damn it Dany, get your head out of your ass. Quit thinking about that. Jon no longer wants to be your fuck buddy, so there is no way he will want to stay your husband. He doesn't even know he's your husband because you haven't even fucking told him.

"Well, I got something in the mail today," she said, taking a deep breath before reaching into her purse and removing the accursed envelope. You can do this.

"Uh..." she was searching for the right words as she stared at the proof of what happened in Sunspear. She could not formulate any words.

"Dany, what the fuck is wrong? I have never heard you this quiet. Did we get arrested or something? Is that a subpoena stating that we have to appear in court?" he asked, pointing at the envelope she was toying with in her hands.

"No, we did not get arrested," she answered quietly as she met his concerned gaze. Her mouth was like sandpaper. She grabbed her bottle of water from the table and took a sip. "Apparently... Apparently, we got hitched?" it came out as a question rather than the fact that it was.

"You're fucking kidding me right?" Jon laughed, clearly thinking she was joking. "Damn Auntie Dany. That was a good one, although you're a few weeks late. April Fools day happened while we were in Sunspear!"

"I am not fucking with you, Jon!" She snapped, opening the envelope and handing him the marriage certificate. "By the powers granted by the province of Dorne, to whoever the minister was at the Little Starry Sept Capel on Sunspear Boulevard, on April First, we lawfully became husband and wife."

She watched a myriad of emotions spread across her nephew's face as he reviewed the marriage certificate. At first she saw amusement - clearly still thinking she was joking. Then disbelief. Then his brooding scowl. Finally, she watched as his eyes widened when panic set in.

"Dany," he whispered hoarsely. "Is this even legal? I mean, we were both clearly too inebriated to be making life altering decisions... Right?"

"I don't know, Jon! But I do know that those are our signatures on the bottom of that legally binding document!" Dany cried, taking the piece of paper from Jon's hands and putting it back into the safety of the manilla envelope. She felt tears welling in her eyes, unsure of where these emotions were coming from, she willed the tears away and continued to lash into her nephew, "Unlike you, I've never actually been married before!"

"Well I remember my first wedding!" Jon bit back. "And I clearly was not intoxicated! And I clearly remember the minister telling us we were not allowed to drink until after the wedding ceremony!"