"I always told myself to preserve the art, but-" Taking a deep breath, she pauses.
She's taming her chest before raising her voice at his face, "Screw—" She didn't manage to sound intimidating at all, since she hasn't completely snapped herself out of the art appreciating mode yet. "—your... fucking.. chiseled—" Finally yelling with full force, "—FACE!!!!"
Briefly sighing in relief, she pushes the guy with the tube, as in instant her hand trembles noticing the side of his head hit the wall, thanks to her. And thanks to the circumstances, she doesn't get to think of the tube. She leaves it with him.
His face furrows at both the pain and regret, barely able to register what's happened. But slowly, he's coming to the realization that it was at some point, real.
----
"Give yourself a break, man! You're at the stage where you're allowed to chill. Maybe try going out with one, or two, and nothing will happen to your precious company!" His friend suggested in the most casual way—at least the friend tried. Meanwhile, he stifled a sardonic smile as always.
"Come on, stop being too hard on yourself. Enjoy life while it lasts."
"You're Youngbin, but I'm me."
"So?"
How is being single parallel with being too hard on yourself? It's my choice. My responsibility. For the note, I've never said I'm not interested in this whole thing. I just think most of everyone tend to oversimplify it, when they shouldn't.
With that being said, this friend of mine's been going around hooking up with different girls, every single day— yet he got the balls to lecture me.
Another friend walked to them with a glass of wine in his hand and joined the conversation, "I'm sure he doesn't know how to kiss someone, let alone-"
"Come on, Dawon." Youngbin whined.
"What? I was stating facts." Dawon scoffed, slowly leaning closer to the guy's ear, "Are you scared of girls, Taeyang? Now it makes sense! You're basically married with your work, how fun." He snickered.
Feeling extremely annoyed, Taeyang took a sharp breath as he observed the remaining liquid in his bottle and drank it all at once. "I'm done." He stood up then slammed a handful cash on the table. "Treat yourself. I'm leaving." He sounded very sober when in reality, he's not.
As he's heading to the parking lot, he realized his feet didn't feel like they're actually walking on the ground, thus he decided to ditch his car and catch a taxi.
Instead of wasting time and self with 'snacks', isn't it better to wait for the actual meal?
----
Looking at the street from the passenger's seat in this state reminded him of his last attempt to date some girl his friends introduced him to. It's scary.
"You're... hot." The girl murmured as she placed her palm on his thigh, while he's driving, cautiously. He's very troubled by that but tried not to care, until she suddenly squeezed his thigh. Abruptly stopped the car, he shot her a death glare, but yet she dared to let her unworthy fingers walk across his neck, getting her face too close to his face, much to his disgust. So he pushed her.
"Get out." He said.
"Seriously? HHGGHH!!" He remembered the girl growling before walking away.
Me? No fun? Probably true.
But dating isn't supposed to be about having fun. Only. I shouldn't be that person by thinking the opposite.
----
"Don't leave us! Dad!!!!!!" The younger Taeyang cried.
He'd just finished his school grade but instead of getting presents, he got to witness the leader of his family, leaving, for the sake of some woman other than his mother.
The tears he and his mother shed never once left his memory—accumulated into a double-edged sword in him and it's still sitting there until today. He's been forced to be mature ever since without a father figure while at the same time haunted by the fear of following the father's footsteps.
It's no longer just fear. I'm him.
----
"Are you scared of girls, Taeyang? Now it makes sense! You're basically married with your work, how fun."
Dawon's voice echoed in his head for the nth time today after he left the bar.
As much as he hated the words and the person who spouted them in literally every time they met, he knew they're correct. Partially.
"Are you lost?" His eyebrows tucked up hearing a voice that couldn't be Dawon's—it belonged to a girl. "No." He replied, as he looked up to her and felt warm all over. He's somewhat thankful to be distracted away from the terrorizing pressures his 'friends' have been flooding him with.
But not sure if it's the alcohol, his ego, his fear, and/or his hopeless side striking at the most inappropriate moment—which was that moment, everything started to dwindle.
----
The sudden burst of happiness turned into something vague and it's pressing his chest. It's getting hard to take his eyes off of her parted lips—she's talking, but nothing came into his ears as if they're inaudible.
He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to suppress the suffocating feeling, but the more he waited, the more the urge became clear and irresistible.
He realized, it's been a long time since the last time he felt things.
Slowly walked his hands to hold her, he's taking his time to recall the feeling of someone else's skin on him. He's unsure, scared, and confused, but everything fogged as she breathed against his lips.
There's nothing I could do but to give in.
His shoulders shuddered slightly at the feel of their lips clashing.
A jolt of sensation exploded in his body, feeling her slowly responding to the touch—the sudden need to hold onto something otherwise he'd fell apart at how rewarding it felt to finally grant his wish.
The kiss became more vigorous than what he initially thought of.
----
A trail of saliva was faintly visible between them when he pulled away for some air, murmuring, "I guess, one snack wouldn't hurt."
