redeemer // r. leith

chapter one

may 19th, 2020

dear whoever cares anymore,

    i am truly sorry for how this turned out. if i was successful, well, if you are reading this, of course i was. i just want to say bye, for the last time. i want to say how much i love you, i want you to know how much you changed me for the better, how much i cherished every second we had together. it truly isn't you that caused it, it was my own suffering. i hated life, the only bit of it i liked was you.

    this part of my note goes to my dearest remington. oh, where do i start. you are the light of my life rem, you have been there through thick and thin these past two years. you have been there through my messy relapses, therapies, hell, you took me in when i had nowhere to go.

    what else can i really say, there isn't anything i can say. i remember the time we went to the park. it was our first date. we were walking and just talking. we went to sit on top of the hill, our hill, and had a picnic. that night you saw the way my wrists were cut and scarred by my self hatred when i pointed at a star in the sky. i will always remember what you said, "you're incredibly lovely, and whoever thinks otherwise can suck my ass". i always thought it was funny. it wasn't really that meaningful, no offense remi. i still cherished that moment though, i will cherish it forever.

    i don't want this to drag on forever, i want you to remember the good times, the times you said, you promised, you would never forget. i want you to know how much you mean to me, how much i love you, i don't want you to be hurt, i'm not going to be hurting anymore. i won't be the burden to you i've always been.

    i want to tell you why, why i did this. i was dragging you down, you have your whole life ahead of you now! don't worry your pretty little head about me. i'm finally happy now, i am at peace.

love you forever,

    bexley rose heartlett.