For me, there was nothing uglier than reality.
The lies.
The regret.
The heartbreak.
The betrayal.
The guilt.
These are all aspects of life. Everyone will experience them someday, somehow. Believe in Santa and the tooth-fairy while you still can. Cherish your days of childhood. Why? Because they aren't going to last forever. Trust me, I know this from experience.
Every person has his biggest regret.
And my story started on the day she cried.
Ethel Green. Bubbly, fun, and sweet Ethel Green. The girl who made me smile even in the worst situations. She was always laughing, always cracking a joke.
Why was her locker tainted by harsh demeaning words, etched in with the marks of pencils and of hate? Why did they avoid the seat beside her as if it were the plague? Why did they bully her?
There really isn't an answer to the question. There was absolutely no reason for what she had to go through. To be fair, though, I never knew. Ethel never told me what was happening.
So I was shocked to find her after school one day, curled up in a ball, as if she could hide herself from the world itself. Large, tragic tears streamed down her face, only intensifying as I wrapped her in my arms.
What did I do wrong?
Nothing. I had done nothing wrong, nothing to push her away, nothing to make her weep like a child does for the past. And yet, while I had done nothing wrong, I had done nothing right. I was just as much to blame as the others.
I should've been there for here.
But I wasn't.
I should've confessed my feelings for her.
But I didn't.
I was driven by my need to be inconspicuous, never straying too far from the sidewalk where I knew it was safe. But the people I associated with never asked me how my day was going and actually meant it. They only smiled at me in the hallways when they needed my help in math. They weren't truly my friends, and they definitely weren't Ethel.
I missed my best friend. I missed everything about her.
And now I'll never see her again. Why? She jumped off a 300-foot cliff and died instantly. All the police recovered was a shattered body and a shattered soul.
My life will never be the same without her. Everyone tells me that I'm living in the past - that I need to look forward into the future. But how can I?
I'm sorry, Ethel. Maybe you thought your actions had somehow pushed me away. The truth is, I was the one at fault. I won't ask you for forgiveness because, frankly, I don't deserve it.
So here I am, watching from a distance, wondering if three cliche words could have changed everything.
I guess I'll never know.
______________________________________________
Hello loves,
I wrote this segment back in 2013, and after coming back to wattpad after almost four years, I decided to make a few quick edits. Much of the writing, however, reflects who I was in the past, so please excuse certain cheesy, unpolished lines and focus on the moral of the story.
My intent with writing the story was to shed a light on social harassment and its tragic effects. Like they did to Ethel, teasing remarks, hateful stares, and abuse can push people to the brink. If you notice any of the aforementioned things happening, don't just be a passerby. Show your integrity.
And if you love someone and he/she does't know it, tell him/her. You never know when he or she will slip out of your life forever! Our protagonist never got a second chance and you may not either.
Thanks for reading.
