Meant To Be (Sashay | AU)

Chapter 32 Decisions

"Plus, she didn't know that you will be seeing each other again. She probably was just looking for some hook up that night and you happened to be a wasted lesbian puking in the ladies room," Ashley added.

"But she kissed me in the yacht. Why would she do that?" Shay retorted back.

"She knows the answer to that. That's why you have to talk to her, and end any feelings she might have developed for you," Lucy said.

"You want our help right? This is us trying to help you. We will go with you, if you're too scared to face her alone. We will do whatever we can to help you get back with Sasha," Troian said.

"Okay. You girls are right. I will talk to her. But promise me you guys will come? I just need your support," Shay said to the girls.

"Of course. We just have to find out where she is. So, how are we going to do that?" Troian said.

"Should we ask Archer? Do you think Sasha told him what happened?" Lucy asked.

"I'm not sure. Maybe we should think of a plan. We can't just assume that Sasha told him. Cece is Dylan's bestfriend, we should at least try to be careful about this," Troian suggested.

"Troi's right. We have to be careful about how we do things. For now, can we get something to eat? I'm starving," Ashley said which made everyone laugh.

It has been almost two weeks now and Sasha has still not taken the time to talk to Shay. If she is being honest with herself, she misses the brunette, but being with her again is something that Sasha is not sure of anymore. True, they were good together, but trust is something very important in a relationship. It is something that Sasha can't just give back to Shay. Some people may think, she's being silly but she can't help the thought that every time they get into a fight or a pseudo breakup, Shay may end up doing the same thing she just did. As Sasha was deep in her thoughts her phone rang, interrupting whatever she was thinking about.

"Sash? Can you please leave the door unlocked? I left my keys. I'm about to head up," Janel said on the other line.

"Oh sure babe. No problem," Sasha answered.

"Thanks. I'll see you in a bit. Bye!"

"Bye!"

As Sasha ended the call, she stood and walked towards the door to unlock it. She then settled back on the sofa and she can't help but smile. Janel had really been great during her ordeal. Constantly cheering her up, making her smile, doing things for her, Janel is doing everything. She knows she can't possibly develop any strong feelings towards the girl but, she feels that if things are different she might have. She's now thinking what could have been if they didn't decide to be just friends. Will they still be together? Will she be happy? Her thoughts were again interrupted when she heard Janel enter the apartment.

"How was your run?" Sasha immediately asked.

"It was good. I actually bumped into your friends," Janel said.

"Oh. Did you talk to them?"

"For a bit. We just exchanged hellos."

"Oh."

"Why? Disappointed? Shay doesn't know you're staying with me right? Are you even ready to talk to her?"

"No I'm not. I'm just wondering how she is. How they all are. They haven't reached out to me since that day."

"I think they are just giving you space. If they would come and see you, Shay would probably insist on seeing you too. Have you decided what to do about the two of you?"

"Actually, I'm still very confused. I love her, but I think I have to choose myself this time. I have been choosing other people for the longest time. That's what I did with Hudson, with her, but I always end up getting hurt. So now, I am doing what's best for me. But I also want Shay and me to be okay, you know? I want us to be still friends."

"Do you think Shay's gonna be okay with that?"

"I hope so. I was also thinking of pursuing my dream to go to BHU. We planned on going to Hollis together, but now I just want to follow what I want."

"You were not happy about going to Hollis?"

"It's not that. I was happy, we have decided to go there together. But not totally. I have always wanted to go to BHU, their English department is one of the best in the country."

"Yeah. I actually applied there myself."

"Seriously?"

"Well, I had one year of college in Paris, I just need to check if some of the subjects I took can be credited."

"Why didn't you tell me that?"

"Well, I wanted to tell you, but we didn't really have the chance to talk about it. I know your thoughts are busy about the current situation so, I just decided to tell you when everything is okay."

"Do you think we can still get accepted? They are pretty strict with their selection."

"Have you sent an application?"

"Well, yes. I haven't received any acceptance from them yet. But I have taken their qualifying exam and I did pass."

"Acceptance letters are usually sent out a month before the start of term. Their screening process is longer than other schools."

"So maybe we have a chance?"

"Yeah. I believe so. I have sent out my application when I was in Paris and I took the qualifying exam too. I am just waiting for next month."

"I was already accepted at Hollis. If I will not be accepted in BHU, I still have a fall back. How about you? Are you going back to Paris?"

"Paris is not an option anymore. I want to say here. I have applied to other schools and I have received a few acceptance letters. But I am really aiming for BHU. They have one of the best IT programs in the country. Plus, I want to be part of Hotchiss Technology. It is very revolutionary."

"This is all exciting. We could be roommates."

"Yeah. That would be fun."

"But before anything else, I should probably talk to Shay. I have made up my mind. We have to make this break up official. We both need to focus on our future. I need to focus on myself."

"If you are sure about that, then you should do it. Just know that no matter what happens, I am here. You can stay with me as long as you need to."

"Thank you. You're stuck with me now," Sasha said laughing.

She has finally decided to talk to Shay and she hopes that the brunette will accept and understand why they have to officially break up.