Hard to Escape

Chapter 19

During this break in between classes, I'd been completely surrounded by throngs of curious busybody classmates who wanted to come over and check me out. Then after classes ended, even more classmates came over to tell me that the main entrance of our university was packed with reporters.

This news made my mind totally distracted, my thoughts in complete turmoil.

Yin Li had announced our relationship at the party after he'd recovered from that car accident, and he and I had never hid from anybody that we were living together. The reason that there'd never been any news about us in the papers until now, had merely been because he didn't want there to be. He'd felt that the timing wasn't right, so he didn't want other people to know about me. Now, all of the mainstream media had abandoned their previous silence and reported uninhibitedly like it was some sort of publicity campaign, until they'd practically established things as facts, once again slapping the label of "Yin Li's fiancée" onto me.

I originally wanted to ignore the conversation between Yin Li and Yin Xuan, also ignoring the little doubts I'd felt before. Yin Li only needed to give me enough time, he only needed to have enough patience to nicely act out a harmonious relationship with me so that I could continue to foolishly muddle by. But now, it instead was like he'd run out of time and could only close the net. This really an intelligent action, it completely wasn't like something that Yin Li would do.

The feelings between us had already become complicated, he should have given me time to slowly recover my emotions. But these insensitive and high-handed actions, for the sake of making me make a decision, forcibly shoved me forwards. These methods all made me feel helpless and painful. I loved Yin Li, but now I increasingly could not trust him.

He didn't know how much determination I had to summon in order to endure those feelings of terror and curiosity, in order to cut myself off from my past and, with my own hands, conceal the truth that was right before my eyes. The feeling this gave me was akin to as if I'd erased and rejected my very own past self. No one could understand these feelings of self-conflict and unease, as if even though the ground you currently walked on was stable, the very next step could plunge you off a cliff. But I could understand this kind of terror very clearly. Uncertain of the future, afraid of the past. For a few nights I couldn't even sleep, my appetite so weak that I had to force myself to eat, but I still tried with all my might to comfort myself. That everything would be alright.

I needed him to that much, needed him to bolster the confidence of such a silly and stubborn person like me so that I could even more so foolishly indulge myself at this time. But his stride had instead gone awry.

This made me start to want to know about those things that he didn't want me to know. I had always possessed a kernel of curiosity, and now it could no longer be contained by reason.

However, mysteriously, it was as if fate had made its own plans. After classes ended, because the front entrance was surrounded by reporters, I'd planned to slip away using a small, abandoned door in the back of the school. There was no way I could have predicted that I'd run into that foreigner, Frank.

Upon seeing me, he smiled. "I saw your face in the papers today. The entire front entrance is full of reporters, so I thought you might try to leave from this door. I've waited quite a while for you." Then, staring at me, he continued, "Although personality-wise you and that person are truly as different as night and day, your faces are still unable to convince me that this is just a coincidence. Even though last time, I'd already convinced myself to let go of this matter, when you cursed at me in French as you ran off, it instead made me feel that maybe I wasn't just having a bad dream."

He had already switched into French to say this last line, his voice trembling emotionally. "I know you can completely understand what I'm saying. I've done some investigation; you're in the French department, your French pronunciation is comparable to a native's. I feel that this can't be a coincidence. Could you let me take a look at your ankle and heel?"