𝔐𝔶 𝔉𝔞𝔦𝔯 𝔏𝔞𝔡𝔶 (ℜ𝔢𝔶𝔩𝔬 𝔉𝔞𝔫𝔣𝔦𝔠)

Chapter Nineteen: Turning Twenty

I was surely not going to deny the fact that I sorely missed his company.

I started to shiver so I rubbed my gloves, in which dressed my hands, together to keep my hands from numbing as my face did.

When I felt hands upon my eyes, covering my sense of sight, I shot up.

I then fell back from bumping into the log in which I had previously been seated at.

The figure who surprised me only grumbled from impact.

I laughed nervously and shyly once I found the face who belonged to Ben.

"I'm very sorry Ben. You gave me a fright."

"No worries, at least you had a soft landing." He relinquished his seriousness to a soft and genuine look.

A look meant just for me.

"Happy birthday."

Still pondering on the thought of how he glanced at me, I lacked to notice where I had fallen.

I scuffled to stand.

"I-I'm sorry...again. And thank you."

He got up with such ease.

In comparison to him, I must have looked like an infant who was standing for the first time.

I so greatly wanted to crawl into my winter cloak and disappear off the face of the planet.

My ears heated as I took my eyes to looking at the ground where my feet were located.

"Why do you appear so shy today? It's your birthday is it not?"

His dark shoes that were always the shade of black came into view, being only an arm's length away from where I stood.

"Indeed it is. I'm just shocked at your sudden appearance. But I'm happy."

The last bit of my sentence was unintentionally said too softly.

And so tender my words were....that Ben had instantly laid his hands to my face.

He was so close to my face that I could feel his warm breath warming my face.

I could smell small traces of earthy pine from the woods on his clothes.

His scent was reassuring and comforting.

Something I simply did not wish to depart from.

I finally looked toward his eyes, something I hadn't been meaning to dodge every since he had appeared.

The only reason I was was because of how flustered and vulnerably I was at the moment.

I...truly wished...to kiss him.

But I knew I could not...not yet.

I knew I was feeling exposed and weak and that was only because of how my life was going right now.

With all the family-history-revealing thing and all.

I felt like a wreck and as most do when they feel weak...

They need something or someone to comfort them, to pity them. To baby them.

He was not going to be that...

I refuse to use someone like him as such, he was someone I loved...I did not want to hurt him.

Not even if it's just his company...I did not want him to pity me.

I was more than that.

And I knew these thoughts I had were no more than that, I knew because that wasn't what I felt.

I felt no pity not even from him.

It was not even a feeling but a secure thought.

Ben loved me.

He was currently even holding me as if I were slip away from his grasp at any second.

But I was nowhere near from disappearing.

Instead I felt to stay in his hold, drawing closer to him as we stood there, silent, in one's company.

This is all I wanted today...to be beginning a new year of my life with the man I loved.

Of course, my mother did desire and did already plan a small party for me.

A grand celebration as she thought of it as.

I knew I'd know almost no one who'd be invited. Most would just be there for the food and fun.

The only two that would be there for me, in any way, would be my mother and Ben.

In that alone, I guess I was fine to attend instead of skipping like a planned this morning...

Unless...I did skip it.

If I did decide to ditch my own celebration it would be the first time to completely disobey my mother.

In that I never did neither did I enjoy to do it but I was tired of being treated like a child.

I wished to have no party. Only the company of my loved ones.

So I decided to ask Ben on his thoughts.

"You know of my birthday celebration my mother is to throw for me?"

"Yes." He only nodded briefly in understanding what I was talking about.

"Would it be too much trouble...if we were to run a little late...maybe even disappear for the rest of the evening?" My hand placed over his hand which laid over my cheek.

He did not speak. I became afraid that he had thought low of me for even mentioning such a thing.

"It was a foolish thing to say. Forget I said anything." I let go of his hand to step back.

He stopped me.

"If that it was you wish, I found a place you would like very much."

He smiled, again, so sweetly that my heart could have melt like butter in the sun.

So together we traveled, far away from the castle to a place I never even thought of discovering.

Ben had led me to place covered in snow.

A once fruitful field full of harvest of summer was now dressed in a white winter wonderland.

A herd of deer, which I had saw with my very own eyes...for the first time...were spotted as Ben leaned over to me.

"For the past few days I've been looking for a place to venture with you. This was all I could really find. Have you seen deer before?"

"Only in books. But this is perfect, so beautiful...thank you Ben." Before I had said my thanks I had given a surprise kiss on the cheek to him.

His eyes shined like the brightest star, causing me to fluster.

At this moment I had nearly forgotten it was my birthday.

And I could have cared less.