The Myths of Twisted Felix Katt (Book 2)

(17) Fly me to the moon

I ain’t afraid to love a man. I ain’t afraid to shoot him either – Annie Oakley

Landing a space shuttle at the best of times was mostly trying to pull off a classy, controlled crash. Landing a space shuttle when a Shuffle has come along and decided to play merry hob with gravity throughout the universe wasn’t so much helping the classy, controlled crashing part as it was making it awfully more like just crashing. Landing a space ship through that Shuffle with a ship full of Hounds on your ass just plain sucked. Lucky me, I got to play will all three. Joy and rapture. There are days where it is just so much fun to be me that I could spit.

“Are you going to get us down before she comes up and gives us the good old dry humping?” Van asked calmly as I sweated in my boots.

“Like you’ve got any complaints about being giving a rub. Seriously, you’re sleeping with the Blooded Lady. Like I needed to know that.” I bitched back, still struggling to wrap my head around the idea of my best friend sleeping with my little sister.

It might seem strange to you, that we were joking and teasing each other at a time like this, but that only means you haven’t been paying attention. Come on, the three of us pretty much jab, jibe and snark at each other nonstop, regardless of what the worlds around us are trying to do. I’m not even sure if laughing in the face of danger is a habit they all picked up from me or something each of us had before hand and has only gotten worse through group effort. It’s really hard to feel piss yourself scared when you have the giggles.

“There’s a reason I didn’t tell you I was banging the gong with her. Even I sometimes figure out when something is a TMI moment.” Van admitted with a shrug. And yes, it surprised me that she even knew how to be discreet. Van has walked around the ship naked on more than one occasion, she’s not what we could even pretend to call shy.

“Hound ship is approaching quickly, though they still aren’t hailing. I think she plans on doing a smash and board.” Rorick said calmly, ignoring the bantering between Van and I. Besides, he had no grounds to complain on. He had kept Temper’s blatant seduction attempt a secret from me and he was sleeping with a Blooded Lady. Me.

“My ship’s hull is getting awfully crowded.” I mumbled, vaguely amused by the fact that I still had the pirate ship attached too. Hey, I had stripped the essentials off of the inside, but the ship itself was still worth money. I’d planned to land on the rock for the Science crew, take a day to detach the pirate ship, break it down and get it into my cargo hold to reassemble later to sell at auction. The best part of my make money off of a bad thing habit was that with my airlock covered, Trudy couldn’t just crash into me, seal on and come inside uninvited. She either had to try and squeeze in my secondary airlock, or she’ll just force me to the ground. Which is where I wanted to head anyways so it wasn’t even doing me a problem to land. Maybe I could get brownie points for good behaviour?

“Anything on this rock looking inviting? Or at least not likely to kill us all?” I asked as I felt the strange gravity of the Shuffle buffet Destiny around.

I was semi floating in Destiny, who normally runs with full old Earth gravity. Which meant that right now regular gravity felt a little bit like old moon gravity. And yet there were patches that we skirted through that tried to haul us to the ground with some serious force, or send us bouncing back up as if gravity wasn’t there at all. In the upper atmosphere of this rock, it wasn’t a big deal, but as we broke through the thin layer between outer space and high rock orbit (I was still refusing to call this thing a moon), I was not loving the experience anymore. Think about it, I had to navigate the topography of a large rocky satellite that I have never seen before, and there were no maps of beyond basic material composition, as well as try and tango with random patches of differentiating gravity, all while I adjusted the momentum to properly descend, and try to avoid having Trudy park her ship up my ass. I think I’d rather go back to fighting with pirates. Or hell, being a foot tall wasn’t so bad.