Thorns And Roses

Chapter Fifteen

Walking around the counter so she could stand in front of him he could hear how shaky her breathing was and how frightened the notion of hearing his answer was.

"I-I just wanna know," she said tearfully. "Do I mean anythin'...anythin' at all, to ya?"

He pondered his answer. He would be a fool to deny he had grown to like her, care for her even. He did not love her, as she herself knew. Yet he supposed there was something he felt for the baker. It was something rather than nothing. If it was nothing he would have never been intimate with her and he wouldn't have cared enough to rescue her from those men in her shop.

He nodded, being honest with her and for the first time, himself. "Yes."

Eleanore began to cry. A sob escaped her lips and she turned around in an effort to hide it from him. She apologised and covered her mouth, trying to calm herself down "I'm sorry. I'm just so used ta bein' used...I...I thought you'd–"

"Shh, calm down." Sweeney stepped forward and took the hand that was pressed to her mouth. Gently he led her over to one of the booths and sat her down. He turned to get her a glass of gin while she wiped her face and grew quiet. When he handed her the gin he couldn't help but notice how their roles had reversed so dramatically. Usually, it was she who did this for him, not the other way around. But his heart went out to her at the present moment and she was in a delicate state. He didn't want to break her more.

"Thank you." She whimpered as he gave her the glass, fresh tears filling her eyes at the kind gesture.

"Eleanore." He began sitting down across from her. He had never been so hesitant to express his thoughts to her before. Often he would say everything that was on his mind without a care in the world for how it may have hurt her. But after last night, seeing how she truly loved him. How happy she was when they made love, It made him hesitate. Taking a deep breath he began.

"I did enjoy last night, I enjoyed it very much. But, it can't continue." He watched her face fall and his gut twisted, but he continued "I like you very much, Nellie. I've grown fond of you greatly. It was never my intention to hurt you like this. But...Lucy, she's–"

"It's alright Mista T," she said with a sad smile "I know. Ya still love 'er an' you always will. Wot a very lucky lady she is..."

Sweeney's eyes fell on her in sympathy. He didn't know where this newfound care for her feelings had materialised, but it was there now. Perhaps it was seeing her in such a vulnerable moment the night before. He was a big part of her heart and soul, he had control of it with everything he did or said to her. He had been hurting her from the moment he set foot in her pie shop.

"Eleanore...why didn't you tell me? If I'd 'ave known how you truly felt...I woulda never...I wouldn't 'ave been so harsh with you when I came back or said certain things..."

"You're so silly Mista T." She said fondly. "Ow could I possibly 'ave known how you'd respond if I confessed me feelin's? When ya came back ya hated the world, an' that included me."

"I never hated you." He argued, and he fully believed what he was saying "I didn't. I hated how happy you were while I was in pain. It insulted me."

Eleanore bit her lip, she supposed she could understand that. When she had been on the verge of starving and her landlord had used her body like a toy she had scowled and scorned at the many loving couples and happy families that passed her on the streets.

"We were children when we met..." Sweeney spoke again "How could you have possibly been in love with me all that time?"

Eleanore let out a laugh "How could I not? Ye was so sweet and kinda ta me. Ya made me laugh, ye were the only one that wanted ta play boys games with a girl and get yer clothes dirty. Ye was always there for me when me dad died. An' ye were my best friend..."