Choose

Chapter One

My reflection stares back. It is funny how the mirror works, it shows you what you cannot see. You either accept it or leave it. Turns out blonde does not exactly suit hazel eyes. So, what else am I to do than to imagine it a dull brown or bright black to match.

From the way I posed in front of the mirror you would think I am a celebrity. Well I like to think of it that way. I imagine the paparazzi in my head. Clicking sounds of the camera and all of that. Little actions like this make me accept me.

"Oh not this again." A voice booms
causing me to get a little bit startled.

"Nat do not start." I state stifling a smile.

"You are such a freak! "
Who am I to shut her up? She's like a river of words. Like I didn't expect it.

"So how was the picnic?"

"Lovely!" I exclaim.

I watch as her smile fades. I must have shrieked too loudly.

"I am sorry." I say hoping to ease her pain. She sees I am trying. I really am.
Quick strides is all it takes and she is besides me. Her first instinct is too let her fingers stroke me. That calms me a lot.

"Don't be sorry for that and nothing else."

"Okay."
I reply a smile splitting my face. I love that she is like this to me.
Crooked and all, she still accepts me. Friends are not an option for me. So far, she has proven to be more than one.

"Have you taken your pills."

"Yeah!"
Not again. Her smile does not fall this time. I guess she is happy I keep to taking my pills.
"Why do I do that?" I blurt

"What?"
"I just did it. Didn't you see?"

"Well if you mean nearly planting your face on that mirror. I guess it's just who you are." Natasha says a shrug in her voice as she giggles at the same time.

My smile falls. It is always like this. I frown, she smiles.
I smile, she frowns.
I guess it's the way my condition made me be.
"I meant my blurts and over enthusiasm."
I scowl.

"So how was the picnic with your brother?"
She's avoiding the question. And I know why.
Now that I think of it I realise that I know the answer. I am autistic that's why.
I'm happy too suddenly and sad the next second. It defines me and it is uncontrollable. It's my never ending pain. I was born with it. I live with it. I just have to. I refuse to know what exactly is wrong with me. I just know that I have autism.

"Earth to April." I feel a slight feel of air on my face as she fans against it.
Nat is frantically waving her hand across my face. What did she ask me again? I can't remember, see that is another thing that is wrong with me.
She must notice my nose bunching up in confusion and therefore repeats herself.

"Same 'Ol, Same 'Ol." I reply, lucky she repeated herself.

"You screamed lovely when I asked you that question seconds ago."

"I... I do not remember." I stammer. This is so annoying. It really gets me mad at me. It's nobody fault. It's mine.

"I really need to get you a date online... "

"No!"
I scream interrupting. I do not know why but I just cannot date. I cannot even hold of a gaze of anyone who is strange to me.

A date would freak me. Her hands leave my shoulders that I did not even were there as she face palms herself.

"Why not did I even bring that up?"She says regretfully. "

I'm sorry." She continues her eyes meeting mine

"Don't be" I say stating words from before, at least I remember that. She smiles "Come on copy cat it's past your bedtime."
I
smile back wishing I could think like her.