It All Started with a Beanie

(4)

"We can swing tomorrow, Princess. I promise."

"Pinkie promise?" He holds my pinkie with his and nods.

"Pinkie promise." I stand up out of the swing and hold his hand as we walk to the door. I trip over a rock and feel a burn on my knee.

"Daddy. It hurts." He picks me up and carries me inside. Mommy notices my knee and grabs some liquid in a brown bottle and a band-aid.

"What happened?" She waits until Daddy sets me in the chair and Mommy starts to pour the liquid on my boo-boo. It stings but I don't say anything.

"She tripped on a rock as we were coming in." Mommy nods. She puts the band-aid on my skin and walks away.

"All better now." Daddy smiles and kisses where the band-aid are. "I'll never let anything hurt you again, okay?"

"Pinkie promise?"

"Pinkie promise." He kisses my head but then I feel the warmth leave my head, leaving an empty feeling. I look down and notice I'm not in the same spot in the kitchen nor am I wearing the same clothes. I look around and see Mom lying on the floor, blood slightly seeping from her lips and her eyes beginning to open. I hear a click and look over to see Dad sitting in his chair.

"Dad?" His once kind eyes go dark, showing no emotion whatsoever.

"You ruined my life, ya know. We didn't want a kid at all. But suddenly, you show up and I have to take care of you. I have to drive you to school, feed you, give you clothes, make you better when you get hurt. The only reason your bitch of a mother and I got married was because I knocked her up." With every word, I see the anger rise in his body. Spit flies towards me but I don't move.

"Dad...please. Don't."

"Shut up!" He stands up and my body stiffens, scared of what he'll do. "No one wants you! No one! I brought you into this word and I sure as hell can take you out." I look over to Mom and I see her eyes widen, trying to come to me. Her terrified eyes are the last thing I see before a loud noise fills my ears, another one exactly like it only a few seconds after.

I wake up from my nightmare with a cold sweat. I check the time to find out it's only three in the morning, with a text message. It's an unknown number, but I click on it anyway, considering it could be Liv or Ollie.

Unknown: Hey. This is Neil Parsons.

Well that's not who I wanted it to be. 

Wait, why is he up at three in the morning?

Even though I don't particularly like him, I add him as a contact and  continue reading anyways.

Jerk: I just wanted to apologize for how I acted in math class. I was very immature and I shouldn't have went on. I hope you'll accept this apology and maybe considering a friendship with me.

An apology? Well that was unexpected.

Me: I appreciate the thought, but I don't accept your apology. If you want to apologize, then do it in person. I don't believe you until I hear and see you say it.

I turn on my lights and put my phone back on the nightstand, rubbing my eyes. I use the bathroom and go to the kitchen. I see Mom sitting in there, drinking coffee.

"Erin? What are you doing up?" She notices me right away and starts to fix a cup for me, knowing that we're both awake for good now.

"I had another one." I sit down at the table and she sits down across from me, sliding my decaf coffee and a blueberry muffin my way.

"Same one or different?"

"Different. It started off as a happy memory, before Dad started drinking and morphed into that night. It felt so real. I felt his touch, his loving touch and it so quickly yet slowly turned into his cold words and the sound that came with them."

"I'm so sorry, baby. I hate that you remember too and have nightmares." I pause drinking my coffee. She gives me a sympathetic look, hating that we feel the same.

Only after a few sips of my coffee, a headache appears. I put the coffee down on the table and begin rubbing my temples.

"Headache?" I nod at Mom's question, not looking up at her. I hear three small pills being placed in front of me, as well as a glass of water. I quickly take in the pills and chug the glass of water, trying to get rid of it as quickly as I can.

"Have they been getting worse?"

"I haven't had one in the past two weeks, but the more spaced out they are, the worse they are." She nods. The pills kick in and I sit back in the chair, drinking my coffee again.

We sit in silence and finish our cups.  

"I'm not working late Friday. Do you want to watch a movie and order a pizza and get some snacks?"

"I'd like that." I give a smile and she takes my cup, filling it up again but leaving out the sugar this time. She sits back down, handing me my coffee.

"Elliott's coming down this weekend, to help us unpack."

"Really?" A hint of excitement laces my voice and Mom smiles as she catches it.

"Yeah. He'll be staying the whole weekend."

"What about Ms. Saundra? Who's going to help her around the house?"

"She's getting a nurse to help her at home for when Elliott isn't there." I nod. Elliott loves his grandma so much and he hates to be away from her, but we're like family to him and he's like family to us, his grandma included.

Another moment of silence creeps in but Mom quickly gets rid of it, hating silence.

"Should I make an appointment with Dr. Shaw? This is the third nightmare this month."

"I'm not sure. I just had a stressful day and that's usually what brings it on."

She nods and her blue eyes, just like mine, hold a look of curiosity. "What exactly caused the stress?"

"I'll update you Friday." A nod comes from her head and she stares at her cup of coffee. Her thin fingers move across the glass, out of boredom. "Hey, Mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?" She looks away from her cup of coffee and up at me.

I'm glad I look a lot like my mom, considering she is very beautiful. I have her dirty blonde hair, her blue eyes, her beautiful smile, and even her nose. I was a Daddy's girl when I was young but as I went into double digits, Mom and I got very close and I'm grateful for that.

"Do you regret having me?" A look of shock appears on her face. She doesn't answer immediately, trying to wrap her head around my question.

"Erin. You may have been an accident, but from the second I held you in my arms, I knew I loved you more than anything in the whole entire world. Not once in the time you have been alive did I regret having such a beautiful, amazing child." She smiles and takes my hand. "No matter what, I will always love you." I smile back at her and we sit in a comfortable silence, watching at the sun rises and our coffee cups get empty.

I love how much my mom loves me, but I hate that the only thing I could think of after she said that was: Why didn't Dad love me as much as you did?

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////

A/N

Would y'all like to see a point of view from Neil soon? I don't want to write it if it's not wanted, so please comment if you wouldn't mind reading a chapter from Neil in the next few chapters.