MARY'S POINT OF VIEW
I paced around my room, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I couldn't be lesbian! I just can't be! What would my mother say? What would everyone else say? At first, I never considered myself to be a lesbian. Hell, I never even thought about the word before, until I started noticing little things about women here and there. I thought it was just me longing for more female friends, but some gorgeous women walking around London said otherwise.
It went against my mother's religion! She would surely hate me, or even disown me! But I knew I couldn't keep this to myself. It was practically eating me up. I knew Lizzie was out, as bisexual. So maybe she could help? But then again, my mother seemed a little off..nonetheless, I walked over to her room, knocking on her door.
"Mary?" She opened the door, surprised that I, of all people, was standing there. I pushed past her, walking into her room anyway. "Look, I know we don't jave the best relationship, but I need your help.." Lizzie laughed. "Wow, I never thought this day would come." She teased, laughing. "Shut up, Elizabeth!" I shouted. Lizzie flinched. I sighed. "Look, just..help me out here." I said, looking at the floor. "Fine, but you have to pay me back." Lizzie sat on her bed, patting the spot next to her.
I rolled my eyes and sat next to her. "So, what seems to be the problem?" Lizzie asked. My heart started racing. I knew she was bisexual, but why did I still feel nervous? "I..I think I'm.." I took a deep breath. I was extremely nervous. "You think you're what?" Lizzie said, clearly impatient. "I THINK I'M LESBIAN." I yelled, then immediately slapped my hands over my mouth. Why did I do that?! Mother's home!! I felt so embarrassed. What if mother heard me? I hid my face in my hands.
After what felt like an eternity, I looked up. Lizzie looked shocked, then smiled and tilted her head slightly. "I-I'm-" I was cut off my Lizzie hugging me. I flinched. I guess I should've expected this reaction, but it still surprised. It was the happiest moment in my entire life. I hugged Lizzie back and started sobbing. She rubbed my back, comforting me and making me relax.
Then, our hug was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Lizzie? Mary? Are you two okay?" I heard Jane's voice. I pulled away from the hug, looking at Lizzie with a terrified look. "Uh- yeah! We're okay, Janie!" Lizzie shouted back. "Mary? Are you there?" I heard my mother's voice. My heart started racing. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Then, the door opened. Once again, a million thoughts raced through my mind. My mother, Janie, and the whore, Anne, came in. My heart dropped. They definitely heard me.. Damnit, Mary! She's going to hate you! I felt tears forming in my eyes. My mother sat on the edge of Lizzie's bed, staring at me with sorrow in her eyes. Lizzie walked out, the whore and Janie following.
My mother grabbed my hand, frowning. "Is it true, Mary?" Before I could respond, I just started bawling my eyes out. My emotions just took over. I felt mad, sad, confused.."I'm sorry! I know it goes against our entire religion, but..I..I just can't help it!" I tried to justify the reason why I was attracted to girls. My mother had pity and sorrow written all over her face. I knew that she hated seeing me cry..
My mother hugged me, which was surprising. "Calm down, Mary..I love you for who you are, always remember that." I sobbed into her shoulder. But it was tears of happiness. I was so happy that my mother accepted me for who I am. "I'm not even sure who I like either." Mother said, rubbing my back. "Thank you, mom. I love you." I said, pulling away from the hug and smiling at my mother.
"I love you too, Mary. So much." Mother kissed my forehead, and hugged me once more. I didn't want to let go, I didn't want this moment to end. It was too perfect. "What does everyone else think?" I asked hesitantly. "I think everyone here is either Lesbian or Pansexual, so they're just happy for you." Mother said. I could almost hear her smiling.
After a few minutes, mother let go. "Come on, let's go eat dinner. We're having spaghetti." I nodded, smiling. "I'll be there in a minute." Mother smiled. "Okay, Mary. Take your time." She said and walked out of Lizzie's room. I stared outside, smiling. I loved myself. I felt content with myself. I think it was there when I realized that no one should hate you for your sexual preference. I couldn't control it. And if they had something against it, it was their problem.
I shook my head, smiling. And walked downstairs. "Ayeeee! Look at the new lesbean!" Kat stood up, pointing at me. I laughed, sitting next to my mother and Janie. They both smiled at me, and I smiled back. Today was great, I would say.
