soulmate • h.rj

6

"I don't know if I can handle a show at the moment." Jaein replies. Jaein's mental health has gotten better over the years, with support from Jisoo and her members. Though occasionally she has moments where she can't handle things, and everyone is understanding of the situation. Jaein feels bad using this as an excuse, but it's not a lie either.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right? Or I schedule a meeting with the councillor-"''

"No it's fine unnie it's not that serious," Jaein says quickly, cutting Jisoo off.

"Jaein, I need to know what's going on, I'm worried about you." Jaein sends a look for help to Cheri. Cheri makes an attempt to understand her signal.

"Uh I'm sure it's fine, I think Jaein needs rest, a lot of it." Cheri makes up on the spot. Jisoo obviously doesn't believe her but she decides to go with it.

"Okay then, please tell me if you need anything, I'll see you guys tomorrow!" she says before leaving Cheri and Jaein alone in the practice room.

"What's going on?" Cheri asks, holding Jaein's shoulders.

"Cheri, do you know the dance to nct dream's boom?"

"Umm yeah, kinda." Cheri replies.

"Good, let's dance."

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Why do you even try?

Do you not get it? I hate you.

We were only friends with you cause of your brother.

I feel bad for her, she wants to be an idol but she'll definitely get hate.

She'll never be as good as Jaehyun.

why does she keep shaking like that, are you scared? I hope you are.

You don't deserve the life you have.

Who would ever love you?

I heard she tried to kill herself.

So what? She just didn't do it?

How pathetic.

Jaein bolts up, gasping and breathing hard, trying to pull air into her lungs. As if she had been drowning. Drowning in the voices. The drops of sweat join the streaks of tears on her face. A small sob leaves her mouth as she hopes that Tori can't hear her. She's weak again and her mind isn't able to build up strength to stop her past from haunting her. She pulls her knees into her chest, releasing a sad sigh.

I'm still pathetic.

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"Guys Jisoo is waiting for us!" Tori screams throughout the dorm. "Ah and Suyoung, your girlfriend's here!"

Jaein had woken early, she felt sick but her mind wouldn't rest. There wasn't much she could do about it. She felt like she was unable to survive the trip, especially without the pills, but luckily she managed to get hold of Haerin and told her that her soulmate was overseas and that she couldn't buy them herself in fear of starting rumors.

She finished packing early and is now busy downloading songs for the flight. Her fingers are moving fast, knowing she doesn't have a lot of time left with good wifi.

"Jaein!" Haerin shouts before throwing a brown paper bag for her to catch, in which she comes close to failing.

"Ah thanks!" Jaein says, looking at her for a half second before taking a few out of the packet, chugging them down immediately and choking in the process.