There is a 'Good' in 'Goodbye'

Chapter 4

Kyle and I had become good friends. Well, best friends, to be precise. I have to say, I missed that feeling of knowing that someone you trust will always be by your side and will protect and support you, no matter what.

A few years ago I had a friend called Mackenzie. We grew up together and were inseperable. In fifth grade, my classmates started to bully and make fun of me and Kenzie ignored me. I had no idea what was going on. I found out that she was talking shit about me that wasn't even true. I don't even want to get more into it. She still goes to the same school as I, but she had to repeat year seven , so I hardly ever see her. And if we meet on school campus we ignore each other, although I feel really sad because we have all these memories together, which can't be denied. It was hard to lose her because she used to be one of the most important person in my life.

Nevertheless, I can feel that Kyle is different. Or at least, I think he is and I really hope this isn't another foolish act of my naivety.

***

I see Kyle at the bus stop and the moment he spots me, he waves at me overexcitingly. He certainly isn't afraid of making himself look like a fool. A few girls from my school seem to think that he was waving at them and walk up to him before I could. I can't hear what they're saying, but I can tell by Kyle's expression that they are trying to flirt. When they finally stop with the giggling, he explains something and points at me. The girls turn around and look at me with a shocked expression. I start laughing and Kyle finally walks up to me.

"Well, that was embarrassing!", Kyle said.

"Embarrassing? Are you kidding? Come on, you totally enjoyed those blondies sticking their boobs at you! You're pathetic!", I snort at him.

"Okay, I might have enjoyed it a tiny, little bit. Don't judge me! I can't do anything against my hotness."

He tenses his muscles and approaches me until he is really close and I could feel his abs.

"No! Go away, jerk!", I crack up in laughter.

I know Kyle is just being silly, but it's true, though. After only 2 months of going to Woodmock High, Kyle has almost become the most popular guy at school. He is surrounded by a circle of girls all day long and they'd follow him anywhere, until he has to go to the bathroom. I have to admit, it's pretty annoying, as I can't stand the high pitched voices and giggling of the girls.

We stand besides each other while we are waiting for the school bus to come and he is telling some story about his dog, but I'm not listening to one word he is saying. I just look at him and watch his lips move. He always makes these weird gestures with his hands when he is talking and I can't help smiling. I am so lucky. After everything that has happened, I should be the last person who deserves such a good friend. Kyle is too good for me. I do not deserve him. Unless, I tell him the truth. He'll understand. I know he will.

Or would it be a mistake trusting him? But I have to tell someone. I feel the guilt inside me and it's killing me, but should I be feeling guilt? After all, he deserved it! We both did something inhumanly.

***

After school I grab Kyle's hand and ask him," You wanna hang out? I really need to talk to you."

"Um, actually I have to do this book report for Mr. Roberts." He looks at me and must have seen the desperateness in my eyes because short after he goes on," But I always have time for you!"

I loosen my grip from his wrist and he smirks at me with a little wink. I force a smile out of myself,even though I feel sadness inside me. What if I'm wrong and he won't understand? This is so messed up.

We decide to go to his house because neither his dad nor his mom is home. On our way, I can hardly look at him and he tries to start a conversation several times, without success. After a while he gives up. We enter his house and he throws a frozen pizza into the oven. I let myself down on one of the chairs and I rest my arms on the kitchen table. I stare into my empty palms and after the pizza is done and I still haven't said a word, Kyle gets really fed up and says," Alright, if you're not going to talk to me, then why did you want to hang out? I could start my book report, which is due tomorrow, you know."

I hesitate a few seconds and then declare in a trembling voice,"Kyle, there's something I need to tell you."