Multiple You

INTRO

Kaylee

I woke up in the middle of the night, catching my breath. The windows of my room are open and the curtains are being blowed by the wind. I sighed as I realized, my nightmares are haunting my sleep...again.

A tear fall from my cheeks. I can't take it. My life is a hell. My life must be God's curse. Why can't I die already? Why did I even promise my parents to try my best to live my life when I have no reason to continue it at all? Why....

I get up from my bed because I'm not in the condition to sleep anymore. I'm not going to the dreamland again where my nightmare keeps chasing my guilt.

The empty house welcomed me. The floor getting cold in my feet when I realized I'm the only one in this huge house. I still remember clearly what happened here years ago, this is where they died and my tears can't help but stream down from my face. The truth of reality slaps me in the face. I'm all alone, in this house. This reality is more painful than my nightmares.

My feet dragged me outside of the house. It felt like chains were holding me back as I stepped on the hard pavement, barefooted.

It was still dark outside and the moon is the only witness of my pain and misery. I sighed.

After 5 years of locking down myself on our house, I finally have the chance to step outside from this cage. Should I feel relieved? I don't know anymore...It was weird, things seems foreign to me. Everything changed and I'm not even updated to the social world anymore. If only I didn't have this and if only I could get rid of this sickness once and for all but it doesn't go that way.

I don't have any reason to look up to why am I suffering through so much pain. Why did I deserve this? I did my best to be a good daughter and a good sister to my siblings. Bakit? Maybe, I must've did something terrible in my past life that why I have this terrible things, happened in me.

Out of all people, why me? Why me that God choose to have this disease? Because of this, my family died. My other personality killed them. Ruthlessly, in my figure. While I was just stuck there, in an unknown dark place.

As much as I wanted to help, I couldn't even get out to keep myself sane. I only knew that my parents were slandered when I was back to myself again, noong nagising na lamang ako't nakitang wala na silang kabuhay-buhay. Wala akong kaalam alam at habang buhay akong magiging guilty. Ang hina hina ko, hindi ko sila nagawang ipagtanggol sa mismong sarili ko.

I already have this multiple personality disorder when I was young. It started when I thought I had a twin. There were times, my parents saw me talking to myself. But I was only talking to the voice in my head, a little girl's voice. I grew up but she didn't, she stayed as a kid and her name is Kaye.

Tapos dumagdag pa si Lily, another personality of me. She's a naughty but mature woman. My parents were surprised when they suddenly saw me spoke in a professional manner. Lily is very well spoken but she could be a little bit aggressive at times which isn't likely my attitude. Doon ko nalaman na may bago akong personality.

Then Lenoxis came. The rebel and evil one, the one who killed my parents. The personality that I loathed the most. Masyadong...madilim ang pag-iisip niya. Kasamaan ang bumabalot sakanyang pagkatao. Pinapatay niya kung sino man ang kumakalaban sakanya. Lenoxis is also the one that I'm preventing the most to go out because she's too dangerous, I still can't control her. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko kapag siya ang nakalabas at kung makalabas nga siya, hindi ko alam kung makakabalik pa ba ako sa sariling kong katawan.

My tears flowed again. Ang sakit. Masakit makulong sa isang lugar. Masyadong madilim. Ayokong bumalik doon.

I'm taking my meds everytime when I feel that my head is pulsating or hurting. Umiinom kaagad ako kapag nararamdaman kong sinusubukan nilang kumawala sa katawan ko. And I won't let them take over me, ever again. Especially Lenoxis.

My eyes brightened when I saw the sun slightly creeping out from the skies. It is my first time seeing the sunrise again. It's the most beautiful thing I ever saw this year because it is not the plain wall of my room nor the dull and dark corners of my house.

Slight happiness enveloped my heart. Kaylee Hope Mendez, my name sounds so hopeful. But...Can I really? Can I have the will to live again?

To be continued...

--

Hellooooooo another story nanaman hehe. Itodo na natin to  since nasulat ko naman na at bago pa siya tuluyang mawala sa isip ko haha. Please read my other stories too, I will really appreciate it. Thank uuuuu.

~xoxo