[FANFIC] The Trouble with Hearts

Stubborn Hearts

Part 3 - STUBBORN HEARTS

-xoOox-

Nong, the novel is intense.

I've read it a bit, Phi. How do we do this?

We need to figure out our skinship dynamics. Can you come earlier 2morrow?

Sure, Phi. See u 2morrow.

-xoOox-

"What's the first unwritten rule of a BL ship, Nong?" P'Mew asked as soon as we sat cross-legged facing each other on the floor. As agreed, we both arrived earlier than the scheduled call-time to discuss skinship.

"Skinship should look natural, not forced," I supplied.

"Right." P'Mew nodded.

Without any warning, P'Mew pushed himself forward, invading what little personal space I have left, so I was forced to lean back a little. And as if that wasn't enough, he tenderly placed a hand on my cheek and looked straight into my eyes, closing the gap between our faces to a meager few inches.

I gulped hard and felt my breath hitch. I stared into his eyes, then at his inviting lips, and then back into his eyes again. I really don't know where I should look, whether on his eyes or his lips, because both were so mesmerizing up-close. I felt my eyebrows scrunch upward in a mixture of surprise and confusion. Inwardly, my pesky traitorous heart sprung from calmness and went wild inside my chest.

"Nong," P'Mew whispered softly, his hot breath so close to mine. "I noticed that you sometimes stiffen like this when I touch you."

"I-I, Phi, I'm not really used t-to--" I stuttered, and couldn't even finish my sentence.

"Used to what, Nong?" He asked, I gulped hard. How do I explain this without betraying myself?

I placed my hand on P'Mew's shoulder and gently pushed him away to give myself some space. "I can't-- It's just that when I'm caught off-guard, my body just reacts on its own. It's like a reflex, but I promise I'll do better." And I really truly want to do better.

"I understand. What can I do to make you more comfortable when I touch you, Nong?" P'Mew asked.

"I-I don't really know, Phi. I guess I just really need to get used to it?" I shrugged.

"This is our first hurdle, Nong, and I'd really appreciate it if we can make our skinship look natural." P'Mew looked just a tiny bit frustrated, and that made me feel frustrated as well.

"What do you suggest that I do, Phi?" I asked, feeling a slight panic rising, but still wanting to make things better.

"The second unwritten rule of a BL ship is this: Consent, communication and coordination is the key to success, especially in skinship. That's what I'm trying to do right now," P'Mew explained.

I nodded, slowly repeating his words inside my head.

"Let me freely touch you, Nong, and I don't mean that with any lewd connotation at all, okay? I will touch your hand, hug you, reach for you, or lean on your shoulder, but that's it. There will be no kisses, or inappropriate touches without your consent, I can assure you of this. Please trust me and follow my lead." P'Mew laid out everything in the open, and I can tell he was serious.

"D-Do I-I need to do the same to you, Phi?" I hesitantly ask.

"If you want to touch me, that's up to you, Nong, but if it makes you uncomfortable, then don't. We don't want our skinship to look forced. I suggest you go with what feels right for you. So if you're not comfortable reaching out for me, or initiating skinship, just don't. "