woke up and I took a shower I got out wrapped myself in a towel I was really sore I had so many bruises and my so called "fiancé " wanted sex yesterday I don't really call it rape because I want to do it to make him happy....... William walked in and looked straight at me I took my towel off and put my bra and panties on
"Morning babe"
"Shut up Beyonce....and hurry up so you can go rehears and don't you dare say anything to that jay z guy"
"Yes William "
I sat down and started covering all my bruises with my foundation I was being quiet and I didn't make any noise because of the pain I don't want to get hit on my head again for saying my body hurts he sat on the bed and watched me I got dressed and I was walking out the door. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"Bye bitch.... And don't come back to late"
"Ok"
I walked to my car got in and drove to the rehearsals I sat in the parking lot for a while I took a rag out the glove compartment and laid it on my lap I took out a knife and lightly put it on my wrist I dug it in a little and cut my self I repeated that a couple times with tears in my eyes as I watched all the blood drip down to the rag I cleaned up the mess and got out my car just as I was about to walk a car parked in front of me it was Shawn my body tensed up and he got out
"Hey long time no see"
"Hi"
"That's all I get"
"Hi how are you how's your baby when are you leaving"
"Well gosh I'm fine my baby's fine and I'm leaving next week"
Just then we saw the paparazzi they snapped a picture of us walking next to each other
"Fuck wills gonna kill me"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's ok that she said it it's just the way she said it like he was actually gonna kill her I shook it off we walked in and the award people showed us to the stage in the middle of the seats bey got a phone call so she picked it up and we waited so I listened
"No nothing happened we were just talking and then they took a picture.....ok.....I'm sorry......please no....ok"
She was in the corner so she thought no one could see and she backed into the wall crying really hard I ran over to her and kneeled down
"what's wrong bey"
She put her head down and wiped her tears I lifted her head up and grabbed her wrists to make her look at me but I felt something strange I don't know if it's that I'm in love with her or that I can read her so easily but I knew she was sensitive to the place I touched because she winced I looked down at her wrists and I pulled he bracelets off she tried to push me away but I grabbed her again and examined them
"What the hell is this bey what's going on"
She pulled away and grabbed her bracelets and got up she fixed her face and her jewelry and when she was done the spoke
"Nothing....it's just all the stress with the wedding and sometimes I don't feel good and William goes to work a lot and stuff so this kind of helps....I'm fine don't worry about me"
"Does William know about you doing this"
"No he doesn't and please don't say anything"
"Only if you stop"
"Ok I'll stop....now can we please get to work"
I didn't want to pay attention to her that much because she's moved on her fiancé will notice that soon probably when there together or something that isn't really my job anymore so I can't trip over it to much we got to work and we finished it was time for us to get out of here so I looked for Beyonce but she was gone I went to my car and her car was gone and just as I thought.....she left
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seeing Shawn today made me think of all the things I had before like a nice home his rough sex the food...I weigh about 111 pounds because I don't get food I know 111 is a good size but not if you went from 140 to 111 I haven't ate in 4 months I mean I've passed out a few times and William sometimes brings me to the hospital and they give me food from tubes but other then that I haven't ate a thing.......I was sittin in my car about to walk in my house when I get a text from Shawn saying can we have a friendly dinner at Morton's (not made up I've been there it's expensive and good) at 7:00 pm that was perfect Will would be at work and he won't be back until 5:00 am I texted him back saying I'll see you then I got out the car and opened the door I seen Will in the kitchen
"finally your back slut"
He walked up to me and pushed me
"What did I tell you about talking to him"
He slapped me
"Your lucky I have to go to work or you'd be sorry now I'll be back at 5:00 don't do anything stupid"
He slapped me harder and grabbed my arm he kissed my neck and he whispered in my ear
"No one loves you"
He left...I sat at the table for 5 minutes crying I went upstairs to my room and took a showering got out and put on my underwear and bra I covered everything with my foundation including the huge mark on my face I put on some dark blue jeans and some sneakers I usually don't wear sneakers but yes I have marks on my foot from trying to crawl away I put on a purple long sleeve shirt that says love I got in my car and drove to the restaurant and I walked in they already knew who I was and where my table was so they escorted me to it I sat down and I saw Shawn stare at me the waiter came and gave us menues
"Hey bey"
"Hey sorry I was late I had to get out the house"
"It's ok don't stress....(to waiter) hey man can I get the steak and mushrooms with the mashed potatoes"
The waiter looked at me I was about to order the whole world Shawn wouldn't notice because he knows I like food
"Can I have the cheeseburger hold the onions the fries a side of ribs some broccoli some mash potatoes mushrooms the chicken strips and some pickles"
The waiter put some champagne on the table with two glasses and poured it and he left
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think beyonce is pregnant for real she ordered everything on the menu I was shocked it's like she hasn't eaten i eaten in months I know she loves food but damn she never eats this much
"So bey how has this past year been"
It felt like her heart stopped she froze and she stared at me as her body shook like she was contemplating on whether to tell me something or not as I waited for her to reply......
