The Anarchist

13. Tracking

Watkins awakes, the sweet scent of rain in his nostrils. He is alone.

Eirian's departure is no surprise to him. After what she'd heard last night, he doesn't even expect her to return.

He sits up and rubs the roughness from his eyes. The room is even starker by daylight than it was at night. Dark watermarks stain the walls, and fallen and peeled detritus lies strewn everywhere. The light sockets are empty and clogged with rust, and there is a vacant space where the brown of the walls is less intense, which is probably where the classroom's whiteboards once were.

What a mess he's managed to get them into.

"Yeah, well, this isn't your greatest moment," Wilson's ghost says, appearing beside him, "but I mean, it's also nowhere near the worst, so, you're kind of batting your average at this point."

"Do we have to do this now?" Watkins snaps in annoyance.

"Hey, listen, kid," the ghost answers, hands up in defence, "I'm not doing this on purpose. I probably wouldn't be here if something wasn't on your mind."

Watkins tries to ignore him, and Wilson gives him a sympathetic look.

"Last night was quite a thing, wasn't it?" Wilson says softly.

"Yeah" is the sharp response.

"And, uh, obviously you don't think she's coming back, huh?"

"Should she?"

Wilson raises a brow and shrugs.

"Well, maybe not, I guess. That was a lot to take in."

"Exactly."

Wilson's sighs and shakes his head.

"But you do always assume the worst in people, kiddo."

Watkins narrows his eyes at Wilson.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you think that just because you've cut and run before, that everyone else is gonna do it, too."

Watkins rises from his seat and looms over Wilson, who sits calmly, awaiting an outburst.

"And why should she be different to anyone else, huh?" Watkins yells. "What makes her so special that she's just gonna pretend like none of this ever happened?"

"Why do you care?" the ghost stoically replies.

Watkins is so confused by the question that he doesn't say anything right away. Wilson's ghost takes the gap and goes on.

"I mean, you're reacting kinda like I did when I was still in high school. You know. When you think you're about to be rejected for the umpteenth time?"

"You're saying I'm being childish?"

"Wasn't my first pitch, no, but, now you mention it, there's a bit of that goin' on, too."

Wilson ignores the daggers coming from Watkins and adds,

"But what I really mean is that you're acting like you're being rejected, and that can only mean that maybe you've been thinking she could replace Emily-"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm just saying that that's some really bad thinking, is all."

"Even if I thought that, it wouldn't matter, anyway. She's gone, and nothing you can say can change will make her come back."

"I never said that she would, but you're not giving her enough credit."

"Oh yeah? And what if you're wrong? What if she's just like everybody else and thinks I'm a monster?"