Butterswap

23

The phone rang again within the next minute.

"Hello? Ah, yes. We would like to go to..." He frowned, trying to recall a name perhaps? "One of the island nearby. Well, I don't know, I'll decide later." He hung up again.

"Hello? Ruby? Yes, cancel my appointments for the rest of the week. Reschedule them, or offer them another lawyer from the firm, Robert or Alvin, either one is fine. Yes. No. Yes, I know. Okay. Thank you, Ruby. Yes, I get that. Okay. Yes, thank you." Ruby was my father's secretary.

"You're one really busy man, honey." Mum laughed, ruffling his hair. He looked at her affectionately and I smiled slowly. I'd never once witnessed love between my parents. There were fleeting glances at each other at the dinner table, but nothing more. And then I realized, maybe the problem wasn't them at all. Maybe the problem was me. Maybe I had been too absorbed in my own work all the time that I'd forgotten to appreciate my family and my friends and everything else that had been going on around me. Maybe the stress that I'd blamed on my father was nothing more than stress I'd inflicted on myself.

The fact that I'd never once stopped to question anything, to reflect on my own actions was evidence of how self absorbed I was. The fact that I kept blaming my father for my lack of life and happiness was evidence of how selfish I could be.

Maybe things wouldn't have turned out like this, if I'd just stopped blaming everyone else but myself.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out.

"For what, sweetie?" Mum frowned.

"For blaming you both for everything." To my horror, I started crying.

"No, no. I did pressurize you. So it's my fault." My dad said, putting his arm around me.

"But we could have talked about it. I shouldn't have kept everything that I was feeling to myself. I wish we could turn back time."

"I wish we could too. I would have been a better father." Dad said regretfully.

Thank god Keenan persuaded me to come back, because I needed my family most. Thank god Keenan persuaded me to come back, because I could feel my health deteriorate with each passing second.

We shared a family hug before going to our rooms to change.

I pressed my hand to my chest, praying that my heart could just calm the fuck down and stop beating so erratically and inconsistently.

"Oh god." I said, as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. "Please don't let me down heart. All I'm asking you is for a few more days. Please."

I put on my thick, cotton sweater and pulled on my winter jacket. Grabbing a beanie from my shelf, I went back down to wait for them.

As I spun the beanie in my palm, I realized that Keenan's maroon beanie was still with me. I ran back up to my room to switch beanies and wore the beanie.

"Get the car please. I need a chauffeur too." Dad called out to one of our helpers and she went out of the house.

"Wait, I'd like to drive." I shouted and went out after the helper.

I started my car, enjoying the feeling of the my baby revving beneath my seat.

"Thank you." I said to my car as I touched the wheel.

I drove out to the driveway and waited for my parents. Once they got into the car, I started driving the car toward the heliport. Sure enough, when we turned into the port, my father's workers were there, with the ready helicopter. I parked the car at the designated lot and we headed toward the helicopter.

"Put on your seatbelts, please. Get ready for flight." The pilot shouted over the noise of the wind.

I snapped the seatbelt into place and placed the ear muffs over my head. I secured my beanie too, just in case it flew away during flight.

The journey gave me flashbacks to the time I had spent with Keenan on the rooftop, admiring the views below us. There was a certain beauty to the city at night, and a certain beauty to the city in the morning. In the morning, there were no neons lights flashing in the skylines, instead, I could see clearly through office windows, I could see clearly the names of buildings, I could see the tinted windows of penthouses in the East. I looked over at mum and noticed yet again another act of love between them. My mum was a little afraid of heights, so my dad had been fingers interlaced with hers. It was achingly sweet and devastating that I would never get to experience that in my lifetime.

I smiled sadly as I looked out of the window again.

I remembered Keenan's request and knew I had to honour my side of the deal.

"Dad!" I shouted and he craned his head toward me.

"Yes?"

"I need something."

"Anything you want, Holland."

"Could you keep the apartment building on fifth avenue?"

"I-uh, that would be a little difficult. Because already have potential investors in the mall."

"Please, dad. I promised my friend, and this is something I really have to deliver."

He must have seen the desperation in my eyes because he agreed.

"Thank you, dad."

After the helicopter trip, I drove to the mall. We settled into one of the many booths at a fast food restaurant and tucked into the delicious meal.

For the first time in forever, I had a real family. Not one for show, not one for audience, but a genuine one for me.

The only question was: why did it take me so long to make things right?