THE OTHER SIDE / s. todoroki ✓

eight. slowly falling apart

THE AIR INSIDE THE ROOM WAS STIFF WITH THE THREE OF YOU INHABITING IT.

For some reason, your fingers are entwined with Shoto's hand, the warmth of his skin caressing your own. And for some reason, neither of you choose untangle yourselves from each other, because it is clear but unspoken that you value each other's intimacy. 

The only real sounds inside the room are the light ruffle of the curtains against the open window and the low humming of the monitor the rests besides the bed. Your mother is silent as she slumbers, and the both of you peacefully watch. You know she is still alive, her soul is still tethered to you, thanks to the heart rate monitor, which beeps and hums all as signs of human life, alive at the hands of technology. 

Shoto blinks, unsure what to do or what to say. It's the first time he is meeting your mother and she isn't even awake. Her eyelids are closed to conceal those tired brown eyes. He notices the difference between his mother and yours, and commends you. Because now all he can think about is how you can laugh in class and smile in front of him and cheer him on during training, when you are so clearly suffering. When you are watching her melt in front of you.

Your mother has turned for the worse in the last week or so, her voice is so weak she can barely do more than a whisper. She has paled in comparison to the year before, and she does nothing except sleep, as if to gather energy for one last hurrah. Even staying awake has never felt so draining for the poor woman, who feels her body agonisingly being defeated, and wither like flower struggling in dead winter. 

Your eyes are stuck on her, and as if looking at the dying, drains you, you feel lifeless as you teeter between your thoughts and your legs shake under the frozen nature of your mind.

She is so close, you can feel it. Your Quirk burns within you like a roaring fire, growing with every passing day as the deterioration continues. The descent into death begins from the moment of birth, and she is living to die in this very moment. If death was the oxidation that humanity so desperately needed, would you hinder your mother from herself relieving her ailments? Could you watch her die only to bring her back just to die again? A question worth an infititude of thoughts but not enough time to even bother dissecting it.

It dawns on you inside your fractured mind about the truth of reality and how much it hurts. You will face the same thing, and time is only an obstacle between humanity and the inevitable demise of mankind. Humans trail each other into the unknown, souls clambering into darkness to escape their own blackness of their hearts and misdeeds back in the physical tangible plane. Death is the final destination, but if only it could not be.

Resurrection brings forth more questions for your already toiling mind. Could you, the human gifted with archetypal biblical power that holds connotations of divinites' finest, bring back the dead? No, you firmly decide. Your fist tightens and knuckles start to turn white under the strain. To resurrect was to restart the human body with it's entire intricate anatomy. Was there ever a soul to resurrect in the first place? Who wasn't to say that the body is but a hollow caraspace, a puppet for the gods to play with as their creations fall into the pits made by their fellow humans. Humans killing humans.

Your mother could not possibly be the same mother as the one brought back alive. The very essence of her soul would vanish the moment her heart stops beating. The brain shuts down from exhaustion and in turn, the mind ceases to exist. Thoughts do not matter except for the flailing fear the penetrates all when the mask of darkness eventually arrive on your face.

"She's sleeping," You slowly whisper, finally uttering something to futilely dispel the quell of your stomach.

Shoto doesn't know what to say, but he eventually tears his eyes off the sleeping ghost of a woman, and looks at you. The tears that so often riddle the corners of your puffy eyes never fail to make him sad. He cannot understand your sadness but shares it, pulling you into a hug so you can embrace his warmth and distance yourself from the coldness of your mother's skin.

Your nose clashes with the wolly turtleneck, sniffles quickly follow, and then the tears. Your hands shake despite being encased in his, and you look into his eyes, your own are watery, and your lips are quivering with a mind at loss for words.

It's in this moment you realise that a life without your mother was a life slowly falling apart. Her demise would cause your demise, perhaps were it not for the intervention and accidental friendship of one Shoto Todoroki.

author's note: theres a 10cm scar on my face and I dont know how it got there ??? Very scared and it makes me look UGLY. was literally just brushing my teeth and looked at myself for the first time today. hope it heals properly.